


Don't Tell Them

by Victorine_Lily



Category: The Walking Dead - All Media Types
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Awkward Romance, F/M, Forced Muteness, Moving On, Not Beta Read, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Torture, Personal Growth, Secrets, Slow Build, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-06
Updated: 2016-08-02
Packaged: 2018-04-19 10:14:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 28,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4742534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Victorine_Lily/pseuds/Victorine_Lily
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Before the world ended....her life was good...<br/>After the world ended....her life was hell...</p><p>Hidden away in a warehouse, she is forced to encounter a group of people that may or may not be the key to saving her soul from the darkness of hell. They maybe the key to stop them from coming...stop them from coming after her. With so many secrets locked away behind muted lips, is there even any hope for happiness. </p><p>Maybe happiness comes from deep blue eyes and a kind soul.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Encounters

**Author's Note:**

> Hi Everyone!
> 
> So this suddenly came out of no where and has currently distracted me from my other works XD. 
> 
> I'm hoping once I get this one out there then I can go back to some of my other stories and give them good updates. 
> 
> So, somethings regarding this story.
> 
> 1\. Sadly, I do not own any of the characters or stories of TWD  
> 2\. This is an AU of sorts  
> 3\. Hershal, Beth, and Sophia are still alive because I am horrible at the idea of killing off certain characters  
> 4\. Lori and Shane are still alive for drama reasons...of course XD and yes they are together in this one  
> 5\. Also, Merle is alive too because...yeah I don't think he got enough justice as a character so I like to dabble with him every now and again  
> 6\. I also put Michonne and Rick together because I have read too many good stories on them and they seem like a good match. Same thing with Ty and Carol.  
> 7\. In terms of time line, this would be happening after the prison went down but not quiet Termines yet...not sure if I want to go that direction or not yet.  
> 8\. This is un-beta'd so I apologize for any grammar or spelling errors  
> 9\. Also comments are always welcomed. 
> 
> Thank you and I hope you all enjoy!

Silent, the world was so very silent now. It was eerie how quiet it could all become in such a short amount of time, after so much noise and chaos. The feeling of hammering between ribs was the only noise in the air and it was deafening. It hurt to breathe, each breath painfully burning from excursion of muscles and joints. 

Yet, it was silent now and that was the only unseen benefit. 

There was nothing that had been brought…no supplies, no food, no water, nothing but the thin layer of clothing. Bare feet, long legs covered in tattered sweats, and a black hoodie three sizes too big. That was it that was everything, the only things in one person’s possession at the end of the world. It was almost laughable really, how much of a blessing this all really was. No supplies…that was better than being chased and caught again by….them…

This place was cold, the wood beneath her back chilled and damp from the recent on slaughter of storms, high winds and heavy rain. There was no light here; it was dark, yet comforting, and most of all safe. A sliver of light peeked through some high windows and gave her the smallest wink of the waxing moon and stars. From this perch, just above the crappy, nearly caved in office she had a full view of the empty warehouse. It must have been a place for storage and must have been unused. Emptiness stretched on for what seemed like miles, ending in steel doors that were shut tightly with some rusted chain she had found. From up here, she had a view of the rafters and if she was to try, she could climb onto those beams of wood. Then, she could escape or hide which ever she may or may not need at the time.  
For now, she was safe here; the hole she had climbed into from the office was covered with a thin sheet of corkboard like material. There were no walkers here, no sound of them either, most likely stuck behind the chain link fences that wrapped about the property. For now, she was safe and she would take that. The world was a dark place now, had only gotten darker, and she could not help but be selfish for the little bit of peace it granted from time to time.

A gentle scratch, something gnawing at the wood beneath her caught her attention. From the dark shadows of a drawn hood, a single emerald colored eye was illuminated by the sliver of moon light. Thick lashes fluttered as the eyelid drooped with exhaustion and the desire to sleep. Ratted and tangled locks, once a soft gold were now stained dark with grim and gore, hid the other side of her face from the moon. Chapped pink lips twitched around the stinging pain of a cut in the shape of a half smile. 

Shifting from her back, a tired groan escaped those lips as she favored her right side. Pressing a burning right cheek into the crock of her right arm, she reached out with her left hand. Heavy scarring, wrapped like wire about her wrist and up her arm lit up as bright as a Christmas tree in the darkness. The pale pink of scar tissue stood out again dirty flesh that once was as white as the moon. A long, thin, rather elegant finger brushed against the soft texture of black fur and was rewarded with the gentlest of purrs. 

Not a foot from her face, bright yellow eyes stared at her with an expression of devoted love and attention. An expression she could not remember receiving for a very long time. The cat was tiny, a baby really, barely full size. It was just about covered in as much dirt, dust, gore, and grime as she was. It was a quiet little thing, something she figured it must have known about since birth. Must have known the dangers of this world before it was even outside of its mother’s womb, knew being quiet was the key to survival. Well, part of it anyways. 

She had found it in the forest, alone last time she had run. Her heart had ached for the creature that had looked near dead and starved. Time was something she could not afford to spend lightly, but she had taken the time to hide the little thing. She made time to give it food and water before she had to disappear, had to run again. Well, it seemed as if the little cat had remembered her, remembered her kindness because he had found her some weeks later. Now, it seemed like she couldn’t get rid of him…not that she would want to. She didn’t think she could stand the thought of being completely alone….not again. 

Oddly, having the little bundle of fur had helped. Helped a lot actually, not only did he chase away the looming darkness and depression, but he helped in the face of danger. His hearing was better, his senses better than hers ever could be. She could watch the hairs upon his back stand straight like fresh grass and his ears twist back in what looked like anger and realize danger was near. He didn’t like the scent of walkers, would hide in her hood when they were near. He didn’t like people either, he would hiss low in his throat when they were near. When they were alone, he would come out. He would settle on her shoulder, stretch out beside her, and cling to her like a second skin. He was all she had left in this world and she was all he had. 

Threading her fingers gently through the short hairs upon his head, right between pointed ears, she sighed heavily. Raising her hand from his head, her fingers moved gently through the air. The movement was graceful and slow, but held meaning. She believed the cat understood the meaning, she could only hope he did. When a soft lick to the palm of her hand occurred, a smile rose to her lips painfully again, and she watched yellow eyes slide closed. A breath of a laugh, airy and wispy escaped her lungs before her only visible eye closed to the world and she gave into the lulling embrace of sleep. 

It was a heavy rattling in the air, a solid thud against the metallic doors that woke her and with honed reflexes; she was sitting up in an instant. The movement had been wrong, a terrible idea while her mind-registered danger over pain. Wrapping her arms around her midsection, teeth gripped her bottom lip sharp enough to draw a little blood. Heavy breathing escaped her lungs, short and sharp through her nose in an attempt to overcome the pain. Placing her left hand on the wood beneath her body, she began to stand on shaky legs. Without so much as a sound, she plucked the cat from his place beside her. Settled upon her right shoulder, the dark creature was quick and wise enough to slip into the large hood to curl just under her hair. 

With the grounding feeling of his paws against her shoulders, his claws digging lightly into her bare skin, she moved. Bare feet moved with grace and determination, a practiced ease and silence. It was ingrained in every fiber of her being the silence, everything from the movement to how she walked. Her ears in tune with the world around her, sensing creaks in the boards beneath her feet before fully stepping down. An emerald eye focused quickly on the safest place to hide. A voice called out just as she stepped foot onto the beams of wood that made up the ceiling.

“Hey, come on! Come on!” The voice hollered the banging echoing in the vast emptiness of the warehouse. There was movement from the steel door that had been her first way into this place, buckling as if pressure was being applied from the other side. Whoever was on the other side was clearly no Walker and the glimpse of old bolt cutters peeking through the forming crack in the door wasn’t her only clue. Taking a steady breath, she rushed down the length of wood no wider than her two feet pressed together. Balance was easy, the pain was difficult. Every move, every jerk, every twist brought pain as the light from the fading sun momentarily illuminated the bruised and cut flesh on her feet and about her ankles. 

Just as the snap of the cutters and the clatter of chains hitting the floor echoed in her ear, she was on the other side of the warehouse. There was a small divvy, a corner of sorts big enough for her to huddle into without the risk of falling. It was far enough back to be hidden from the setting sun, but close enough to be settled just to the right of the door. At the screeching cry of metal on metal, she forced a deep breath and held it. Huddled in the corner, she reached up to push hair from her face. A jolted hiss escaped her lips as her hand brushed too harshly over the bandage that covered her right eye. That same hand reached back to grasp black fur as a hiss of air escaped between her teeth and she attempted to relax her body and breath. 

From her perch, she could clearly see four men enter the structure, fanned out, and weapons drawn. It was somewhat of a relief to know that these men were very different from the others. On the far left side was a large African man, a hammer clasped in one hand and a gun strapped to his hip. To the right of him was clearly a man of authority. He was tall and walked with a determined air, the quality of leader pouring off him like sweat. In one hand, he held a knife, and in the other a gun. This hair was just this side of long, curling at the ends…same as his bread. To the right of him was a man that strangely reminded her of a mechanic she had known back home. Dark hair that seemed greasy but was probably rather soft, broad shoulders that adored leather vest with angel wings. However, the crossbow in his hands made her mind switch from mechanic to an older biker she had once known. Finally, closest to her perch was an Asian man sporting what looked like combat gear…or maybe riot gear like police would at a protest or something. He held a rifle close and aimed high, clearly practiced and familiar. 

The spread out, fanned out like a swat team taking down a drug lord. They all went one way or another, but stayed within sight of each other. They made a whole sweep of the floor before the man with the beard and the man in the vest took the stairs to the crappy little office. Her heart hammered behind her bones, her blood ran cold, and her body stiffened like the dead. Her eye watched them closely, focused on the men in the office as they searched. The man with the vest seemed to have noticed something in the ceiling and pushed away the corkboard like material. Swallowing a breath, she shifted deeper into her corner, waited, and watched like a terrified cat. The man’s head poked up above the roof of the office, feet balanced carefully on the old wheelie chair. She could see the blue of his eyes as he scanned the roof of the office. Maybe it was the distance, maybe it was the shadows, or maybe it was the silence. Either way, the man didn’t see her and moved back into the office.

“Outside is all clear!” A female voice called causing her to jolt slightly, tearing her eyes away from the men to the silver haired woman in the doorway.

“Clear here too.” Claimed the Asian.

“Must have been an old storage place….seems abandoned and unused.” Called the African.

“Will it work for the night?” The woman questioned as the three were joined by the other two men.

“Should work, we’ll secure it…rest here…maybe take a day or two to gather our bearings. Couple houses round here…could go gatherin supplies and thangs.” The authoritative figure claimed his accent heavy in the emptiness of the warehouse.

“Have them pullin those cars…place big enough for them.” Came the gentle, gruff tone of the man in the vest.

Her heart sunk at the thought of people staying where she had been hiding. Chewing her bottom lip, her gaze flittered to the most visible window. The sun was   
setting…had she slept for so long? Oh well, with the setting sun she could slip out as soon as it was dark. She was quiet, she could climb, and she would be fine. It was either that or wait these people out, but she didn’t think she could go another day or so without food. It was already painful enough; she didn’t want to add the anguish of starvation on top of it all. 

Therefore, she waited and didn’t dare move nor breathe anymore than she should. She watched as two cars, an old van rolled in, and the door was secure again. She watched in silence, felt the flicker of a tail down her spine, as more people climbed out of the vehicles. There was a brunette and a blonde with an old man who hobbled about on one leg. An African woman with a young kid and…was that a baby on her hip? These people actually had a baby? Somehow, a blooming feeling of respect squirmed in her chest at the realization that these people were not so heartless. They were willing to carry young and keep them alive. Though that did not mean they were not dangerous or a threat, it meant they were better than other people she had meet.

She also spotted another set of women, a brunette and a blonde followed behind a man with a shaved head. There was also another African woman who was beginning to unload one of the cars with a young girl. Fourteen people in total it seemed, including the baby. 

“This place is empty as shit.” 

Make that fifteen, she thought at the sight of a burly man getting out of the van. He was missing his right hand it seemed, replaced with a slab of metal. She wondered what happened there…or the man with the missing leg. This was a strange group, large, and a mismatch of people she couldn’t claim to ever see together normally. It seemed like this was going to be more difficult than she thought…a sticky situation that did not weigh well on her mind and soul. Maybe she would die on her way out of here…not that she was one to opt out or give up. 

The evening passed and she merely watched with curiously tired eyes. Her cat was balanced lightly on her shoulder, watching from the shadows alongside her. It was strange, what one could gather from merely sitting back and watching a group of people at work. Guess she had always been good at people watching, all things considered…probably wasn’t one of the worst hobbies. It was probably considered a skill in this new world. 

From her perch, she had witnessed the tangle of relationships and associations within the group. Seemed the quiet man with the crossbow and the loud…rather offensive man with one hand, were related…brothers if she heard correctly. The big African man had a sibling too, the girl with the shorter hair, and seemed to have some sort of bond with the woman with a silvery pixie cut. It also seemed that the silver haired woman was the mother of the little girl. The Asian and the other brunette were together, and the old man with one leg and the young blonde teen were a family. The African woman with the sword…she seemed like the odd man out so to say, but seemed to be close with the young boy and the man who was clearly the leader. Now, the leader was a curious case and kept catching her eye as he moved about his group. He had some sort of relationship with the man who’s head was shaved who always seemed glued to the last brunette. However, he also kept his distance…kept the young boy and the baby close. Clearly, he was the father of those children…she wondered who the mother was. Probably the woman with the shaved man…strange…but she honestly couldn’t say she would judge anyone in this new world. 

Once they had settled, they had started a small fire while the brothers prepared some sort of game for cooking. God, the scent of cooking flesh and muscle pulled at the ache in her stomach. When was the last time she had eaten anything! It was at that point, where she rested her head against her drawn up knees. Her body protested the movement, protested everything from sitting still for so many hours on end. However, she kept quiet, suffered through it. She’d been through worse than sitting still for a long time…she could do this. However, she was also exhausted from everything the world had thrown at her and it wasn’t long before she had fallen asleep in her corner. 

The next time she awoke, it was dark…nearly pitch black in the emptiness of the warehouse. The exhausted ambers of the group’s fire the only light beyond the sliver of moon in the windows. Maybe she was too use to the darkness, her eye adjusted easily enough to make out the bundles of bodies on the ground. Good…people were sleeping…maybe she could move? Shifting slight, she gritted her teeth harshly and held back a groan as she moved to stand. 

Shakily, she shifted from her corner. Bare feet balanced on the rafter as her gaze took in the sight beneath her. Everyone was bundled and seemed down for the night…did this…group not believe in a watch? The soft shutter of metal caught her attention, drawing her gaze to the metal door as the burly man came lumbering into the dark warehouse. He did not go far, crossed enough ground to end up near what must have been his belongings. He grasped something from his pack, shouldering his rifle before turning to leave out the door again. So…watch was taken outside then. 

At the sound of the metal sliding closed, she shifted her weight and began to track back down the beam towards the roof of the office. Now was her chance, her only chance if she was being honest. There was no telling how long these people would be here for…no telling what sort of dangers they posed…and no telling if she might end up dead or not. She was careful of the old wood on the roof and grateful to the archer who hadn’t bothered to recover the hole. Gently, she slide down onto the old wheelie chair and then to the ground. Shifting, she peeked out the shattered window out onto the warehouse floor. No one had even steered it seemed, which was enough of an encouragement as she could get. 

She took the stairs to the concrete floor carefully and slowly, her eye flittering over every single body and back to the metal door. There was no sound, no movement, and while she was grateful to the silence, she feared it. As she reached the floor of the warehouse, she licked nervously at her chapped lips and allowed her eyes to flicker behind her. Under the stairs was another door, it led outside….at least she hoped it did. It had been locked earlier and she didn’t have the energy to mess with it. Maybe…maybe if she found something that could help she could pick it. 

That was plan A…plan B would be to leave through one of those high windows if she could reach it from the rafters…she hadn’t wanted to risk the idea of falling to her death just yet. Plan C would be to sneak out when they opened the door…something difficult but possible with the cars so close to the door. If that burly man came back in and left the door open like that…she probably could make it. 

Chewing her bottom lip, she paused as her eyes flittered back over the sleeping group and then to the fire in the middle of the room. It’s low amber casted the surrounding area in a soft yellow glow and the temptation to try to get warm reared its head in the back of her mind. No..she couldn’t…she had to do something…important things like get out of here before she worried about that. First things first…she needed to steal supplies. Not a lot….just a little…just enough to survive. The idea of stealing from another group, one with children even made her sick…but if she could get her hands on…just one water bottle…just a little food…and maybe a weapon she’d be fine.

With that, she began to inch her way closer to the group. While they kept a reasonable distance between one another, they seemed to like to sleep close…close enough that she had to watch where she stepped in the slowly darkening room. Chewing her lip was becoming a bad habit as she tore more and more into the flesh, hyper aware of the droplet of blood that stained her bottom lip and chin now. Pausing, her eye caught sight of the closest and easiest to reach bag…right next to the leader of this mismatched group of course. Rolling her good eye, she felt the gentle brush of fur against her neck. 

The feeling of flickering ear against her cheek caught her attention, drawing it to the cat on her shoulder. He didn’t move, didn’t make a sound as if he knew he shouldn’t. However, he was being just as observant as she was. Swallowing a breath of air, she held it as she approached the sleeping man and knelt down. With shaky, slow hands, she opened his pack with the softest echo of a click. Freezing at the sound, so much louder than one would normally think it would be, she lifted her gaze to the sleeping man. His brows were knitted, yet his eyes were closed. After a second, he rolled over to his right side…faced away from her to cuddle close to his sleeping baby. Letting out a small breath of air, she began to root through his pack. 

A smile split her lip open a little as she pulled out a canteen full of what felt like water, a few strips of what felt like dried meat….a jerky of some kind….and oddly enough a miniature flathead screwdriver. Maybe it would be enough to jam into the lock and get that back door open? Her single emerald eye flickered upwards slightly, settling on the apparent knife strapped in a holster to the man’s upper thigh. She knew she needed a weapon, but taking it off the man himself…that…that wasn’t wise. Pocketing what she had so far into the oversized hoodie, she shifted to close the pack and stand once more. Rising to her feet, she scanned the length of bodies as she attempted to inch her way back towards the office and the stairs. 

The sound of movement caught her attention and her heart stopped beating. Holding her breath, her eye widened at the squirming motion of the baby who decided to let out a small sniffle of a sound. Next to it, half hidden by the body of the man the boy shifted into a sitting position. He rubbed harshly at his eyes as he reached over to sooth the squirming infant. She should have moved then, should have run, but she was frozen…silently hoping with every fiber of her being the child would fail to notice her presences….as if such luck would be bestowed upon her in this life.

The clock seemed to stop…time…time stopped…slipped slowly a way as she locked eyes with the blue-eyed boy. As if slowed down, as if time was forcing her to realize her mistake and be reminded of her clearly unavoidable fate, the boy’s eyes widened as his body twisted to grasp the gun he kept on him. Then, it was like a tidal wave as time sped up and knocked the breath from her lungs.

“Dad!” The boy yelled startling the man and forcing the baby to cry. 

That was it, the call of the dinner bell…the toll of hell waking up and the earth shattering beneath her feet….and all she could think of was to run. Turning sharply, she raced for the steps ignorant now of which steps creaked and which did not. Noise erupted behind her, people getting up, weapons being grasped, voices calling out, questioning, commanding, and then feet following. 

Tripping slightly up the stairs, she started at the wisp of movement and the piercing pain of split skin. Her eye fell upon the shaft of the air, head latched into the wood of the stair right above her left shoulder. A warning shot…she was sure…a warning she did not heed. She would not….could not be captured again…she couldn’t go through it all again. Maybe these people were different….maybe they were the same. Either way, her fear pushed her on. Adrenaline spiked her system and blocked out all the pain as she scurried up the rest of the stairs and into the office. 

Not bothering with the door, she climbed on the old chair that wobbled dangerously at the quick movement. With one solid jump, she latched herself to the edge of the hole as the chair clattered to the ground beneath her. Grunting, she began to pull herself up and onto the roof of the office. A silent scream, the strangest of whimpering noises…nothing more than air escaping her lips echoed at the feel of a hand clasping about her ankle. 

It was a strong grip...a man’s grip and she kicked hard. 

“Fuck. Can’t get a hold of em’.” A gruff voice echoed before a painful groan left the man’s lips as her foot made contact with the side of his head. It was just enough to wiggle her ankle from his grasp. 

Pushing herself to her feet, she shot out towards the beams of the rafters. Her focus too much on the people beneath her and behind her, causing her to lose her footing. She fell hard onto her stomach, luck being on her side for once, as she grasped the beam tightly. The action made her winded, sucked the life out of her body for a moment. Her ribs were on fire again, screaming at her for her stupidity. Glancing behind her, her single visible eye caught sight of the archer on the roof of the office. His crossbow held high and pointed right at her.

“Stop.” He snapped as the other man, the leader joined him on the roof. 

Breathing heavily, she pushed herself up and scurried across the beam on all fours until she was up enough to run across it. The deep thud of an arrow…then another echoed just inches behind her feet. More warning shots, clearly…they could have killed her if they wanted to by now. Lost on what to do…scared…and confused…she took her corner again. It was deep enough back that their shots wouldn’t be able to make contact due to the beams and the angle…not unless they followed her.   
Pushing herself hard into the corner, she coughed as the movement rattled her body. Curling close, pulling her knees to her chest, she attempted to make herself as small as possible and hoped this would all go away. More chaos…more noise…yelling…talking…banging…it all echoed around her. It wasn’t until she heard the thud of someone’s footfall on the beam…wasn’t until she felt the vibrations that she realized one of them was coming to get her.

As if it would somehow help, she dug around in her pocket and pulled out the small screwdriver…held it out like weapon as the archer came into sight. Steeling herself, she suddenly felt a wave of calm and an air of determination. If this man wanted to take her…if he wanted to kill her…she wasn’t going to make it easy on him. Squaring her shoulders, her lips drew in a sharp lip, as she pointed the pathetic excuse for a weapon at the man.

The man…he just…sat there. His stance moved from standing to crouching as piercing blue eyes locked on her. His bow was still up, still aimed at her, but his finger was off the trigger. She realized he knew she was unarmed. 

“Daryl!” The authoritative leader called out, his voice loud but harsh and hushed as if taking this situation as dangerous…which…she supposed it was…for her. The archer, Daryl, held up his hand…as if to inform the leader he was okay and the situation was handled. 

He was quiet and stared for what seemed like forever, she stared back refusing to lose the contact in fear of what might just happen. She failed to notice the quiet around them, failed to notice the rapid attention of the rest of the group. His blue eyes squinted, narrowed slightly before he shifted and shouldered his crossbow. Holding out his hands in what seemed to be a harmless manner, her single eye narrowed and her hands tightened on the little weapon.

“Ain’t gonna hurt ya..” He muttered voice soft and tone low. It was strange, as if he was approaching some wild animal. Maybe she looked that bad?

At the sight of him inching closer, she thrust her hands out farther in an attempt to look dangerous…telling him to stop moving. 

“What’s yer name?” He questioned, his eyes narrowing on her more. 

What a stupid question! Like she’d answer that. He inched closer and her eye widened realizing her lack of actual intimidation. Shifting back, she pressed her body as hard as she could against the wall and without thinking let go of the screwdriver. It clattered loudly on the wood before her and before she knew it, her hands were moving in that elegant yet now frantic manner. 

(Don’t come any closer! Leave me alone! I’m sorry I stole from you!)

Maybe that is what he wanted, without thinking she quickly reached into her pockets and pulled out the water bottle and bits of jerky. Setting them on the beam   
before her, she pushed them harshly, though they barely made it a foot away from her. 

(Take it! I don’t want it!)

Her fingers danced against the tense air and for a moment, the man paused. His head titled to the side and his features relaxed slightly, as if a realization was coming to a head in his mind. Without another word, he shifted back and stood. His eyes never left hers as he moved back towards the office and his group. What was going on?! Swallowing hard, she pulled her knees closer to her chest and glanced down. Maybe she’d die on impact if she jumped? What a cowardly thought…

She heard the noise, but it was softer…hushed somehow. Chewing her bottom lip, a breathy whimper escaped her lips when the beam of wood rattled again. Her emerald colored eye locked on the person that was approaching her...this time…it was the African woman with the sword. Her eyes widened in fear and she felt her body shift. What was going on? She didn’t want the woman near her…didn’t want any of them near her. Her breath was leaving her in short, panting bursts, and the adrenaline was beginning to slip from her system replaced by the familiar pain and exhaustion once more.

The woman paused a good ten feet from her and crouched just as the man had. Her dark eyes stared at her for a long moment before her hands began to move in the same beautiful fashion that she knew. Her lips moved with her hands, communicating in all forms it seemed, and suddenly she felt light. No one….no one had ever communicated with her like this since the world ended….how many months ago was that now? 

“It’s okay…I won’t hurt you. What’s your name?”

She didn’t move and she did not answer the woman. The woman stared for a moment, and then began to move her hands once more.

“I’m Michonne…”

(How…do you know this?) She found herself unable to help herself as her hands hesitantly moved.

“My son was deaf…I learned it so I could talk to him….Please…what is your name?”

Gazing at the woman’s face, she swallowed hard before her eyes shifted to what little she could see of the office roof. She could still make out the people on the ground and she could see someone had restarted the fire. There were many eyes focused on her…she didn’t like it. Catching movement out of the corner of her eye, she gazed back at the woman, Michonne.

“Don’t pay attention to them…focus on me. It’s okay.”

(I don’t want to die…)

“We aren’t going to kill you…not unless you are a threat”

(You’re the threat)

The woman’s lips cracked slightly in a small smile as a huff of a laugh escaped her lips. Clearly, she thought the same.

(Vara)

“Vara…means butterfly in Greek…that’s pretty. How old are you? How did you get here?”

(I’m 28…I..I was hiding)

“Do you have a group? Where are your people?”

(I don’t have a group…no people…I’m alone.)

“How long have you been alone?” 

(A week.)

“Thought you didn’t have a group”

(Don’t…was held against my will in this group…escaped…been hiding and running for a week.)

That seemed to have shut the woman up for the moment as she continued her gentle staring. A hum left her lips and she gave a look of pity and…respect?   
Understanding? Vara couldn’t tell. When the woman moved, shifted forward Vara whimpered. The woman didn’t say anything but kept coming closer and Vara could feel the burn of tears in her eye. A soundless sob escaped her lips as Michonne reached out with her right hand.

“I’m not going to hurt you.” She spoke, no longer using her hands. Her dark eyes were searching and processing it seemed. “No one is…let’s get you down from here.”

Another soundless sob escaped her lips as she hesitantly reached for Michonne’s hand. Feeling the woman’s grip tighten on her own, Vara jerked as if she had been burned. Michonne didn’t move, didn’t react much either as they continued to hold eye contact. “It’s okay…come on.” She whispered, her voice soft and kind…like how her mother’s use to be. Vara allowed herself to be pulled from the corner and led slowly back towards the roof of the office. Unthinkingly, she clung to Michonne when the dropped down into the now empty office and made their way down to the warehouse floor.


	2. Treatment

“So, who the fuck is she?” The burly man grumbled loudly, his blue eyes so much more like steel narrowed on her. 

Clinging to Michonne, Vara found herself half hiding behind the woman as the man called Daryl whacked his brother’s arm harshly. “Shut up Mer…” He muttered, keeping his voice low. 

“Everyone….this is Vara…she’s been hiding out here from some bad people.” Michonne explained, not bothering to give her much of a chance, which Vara really didn’t mind. 

“Bad people…who are these bad people?” The leader spoke, his darker blue eyes locked on her. He was at least a good foot or so taller and his stance was intimidating. Silence followed his question and Vara could not help but let her eye wander to take in the faces and expressions of those around her. A pit of dread pooled in her stomach at the narrowed eyes from the shaved man that spelt danger. The look of disgust from the brunette beside him made that dread twist and turn.   
There were other looks there too. The old man looked at her with sympathy and kindness, so did the younger blonde. Others were cautious yet curious, like the Asian and the brunette he was with. 

“Why ain’t she answerin’ the damn question?” The burly man grumbled, his eyes narrowed at her. Unlike his brother, his gaze was cold and damn near deadly.   
“If she’s with some bad group, we need answers.” The man with the shaved head growled catching her attention, his hands tightening on the rifle he held onto.   
Fingers dug into Michonne’s arm, her one hand still trapped in the palm of the woman’s.

“Merle relax and Shane…knock it off.” Michonne growled out in a low voice that seemed instantly ten times more intimidating than the other’s louder voice. 

Huffing the woman shifted and her dark eyes locked with Vara’s. Gently, the woman pried Vara’s hand off her arm and shifted her to stand more upfront. Heavy hands held onto her shoulders as Vara twisted her head to look back at the dark skinned woman. She could feel herself begin to hyperventilate as she allowed herself to turn back towards the group. 

“I’ll ask again….who are these people?” Rick grumbled again before anyone else could speak. His gaze was intense, harsh, and determined. Before she could realize it, her hands danced in the air before him. A light seemed to flood his blue eyes as if he was beginning to recognize something in her movements, something familiar.   
The man named Shane and a few others seemed to recognize it too.

“The fuck she doin?” The burly man grumbled, clearly annoyed with everything and anything in this world.

“Stupid, can’t ya see the woman’s deaf.” Daryl growled shoving his brother’s shoulder slightly with a look of udder annoyance. Vara wondered how often they fought like that. “Deaf? Like can’t hear nothing?” The man questioned.

“She ain’t deaf….she’s mute…she can hear you fine.” Michonne seemed to correct instantly, Vara couldn’t help but pull her gaze back to the woman behind her. Michonne wouldn’t look at her, her eyes focused on the man before them both. Slowly, Vara turned back around and slowly nodded, as if confirming what the woman behind her said.

“Michonne…you said you knew what she was doing…signing to Daryl…” The man before her spoke; she could tell Michonne had nodded in agreement from the way the man nodded in return.

“Translate?” He questioned. “What she says…none of us know sign language…and we ain’t got anything to write with.” 

“Sure Rick…” Michonne commented, a touch of affection in her voice, before letting go of Vara’s shoulders and coming to stand beside her. Vara wasn’t sure if she liked the lack of pressure behind her, somehow already having too much trust in this woman. Why was she so stupid?

“Vara.” Rick’s voice caught her attention once more. “This group?” He questioned and Vara couldn’t help the bubble of anger that boiled into her chest. Vigorously, she began to sign and Michonne spoke the words she couldn’t. 

(I don’t have a fucking group! I’m alone! I ran away from them, they are bad people.)

“How bad?” Rick questioned causing Vara to pause and stare.

Vara didn’t answer her gaze intense and quiet. She couldn’t tell them what those monsters did to her. She couldn’t tell anyone, she couldn’t live through it again. Yet,   
maybe she could show them…give them some form of an answer. 

Taking a deep breath, Vara reached up with both of her hands. They shook with the exhaustion and fear that curled around her body like a sickness. Then, she lowered her hood revealing her matted and dirty short locks, barely reaching her shoulders. She knew what she looked like, knew how bad her face appeared.   
She knew about the bruising under her left eye….knew about the cuts along her lips….knew about the purple bruise around her throat….and with a simple slight of the hand….knew the bandage that covered her right eye. It was then she heard the noises of surprise and she felt sick all over again. Her single eye focused back on Rick, she felt empty…emotionless…knew the cold reflected on her being.

“Where are they?” Rick questioned and Vara’s fingers moved.

(I don’t know.)

“How many Walkers have you killed?”

Vara’s brow rose in confusion at the question, at the change in topic but she moved to answer none the less.

(Too many to count)

“How many people?”

(I don’t know…a few?)

“Why?”

(Because…….I didn’t want to die.)

Rick seemed to take in what she had said, but Vara was unsure if the man truly believed her words. It seemed her answers might not have been completely well received. It wasn’t as if she was a senseless killer or something, she had done what she had needed to in order to survive.

“Hershel…can you check her out? Take a look at her wounds…tell me what you think when you’re done.” 

“You’re gonna let her stay?” The man called Shane growled out darkly forcing eyes upon him. Vara watch warily but her eye flickered around to take in everyone’s faces. They ended up on the brothers and a frown began to shape. The burly man held a look, a strange look of both disgust and respect. She didn’t understand it…was he disgusted at her? Yet...did he respect her? Was she reading his expression wrong? There was something familiar there and when she turned her gaze to the other brother, Daryl, she saw something clearer. Some kind of anger, at who she wasn’t sure, but she also saw understanding…as if he understood what she hadn’t said. 

“Clearly….she’s injured and needs to be examined…there’s no way her wounds are self inflicted and if she’s running from people...clearly there is a bigger threat.” Rick’s voice echoed nearby followed close by the man named Shane. She wondered how often they butted heads.

“Yeah, Rick? But, what if she’s a threat? Huh? Brings them back here or something, leads them to us.” 

“This isn’t another Randall situation Shane…this is clearly different.”

“How?” Shane growled lowly and Vara’s attention was drawn enough to watch Rick storm over to the man and pull him away. Clearly, Rick was intending to speak to the man alone. 

A hand upon her arm caused her to jolt, her body unconsciously moving away from the touch and towards the only person she was aware of that could communicate with her. Her emerald colored eye landed on the old man, who smiled a kind smile. “It’s okay…come…let me treat your wounds…” 

“Best doctor around.” The young blonde teen added brightly, seeming to try to coax her along. 

Sparing a quick glance around once more, her single eye locked with the dark skinned woman for but a moment. Chewing the split in her bottom lip, Vara slowly turned and began to follow the old man and the blonde teen. 

They did not go far from the group, but clearly went far enough away to allow for some solemn of privacy. The spot they traveled to end up being behind the large van the group had come in. With the back open, Vara found herself sitting quietly on the tail, eye locked on the old man. He was busying himself with an old folding chair and a bag of what she could only assume was medical equipment. Once he was seated, Vara found that they were nearly sitting at the same height. It would give the man enough room to work without straining his body it seemed. 

“Well Vara…” He began softly, something calm and quiet about the man. “My name is Hershel and this is my daughter Beth.” He gestured to the young girl beside him, clearly ready to assist as need be. “It appears you have been through quiet a lot…Let’s see what we can do for you huh?” There was something oddly familiar about the man, as if she had meet him once before. His demeanor and nature was similar to the old memories of her father and she could not help but linger on that thought. Maybe these people were not all terrible. 

“You seriously want to waste what little medical supplies we have on some outsider!” A shrill voice echoed somewhere in the warehouse. The place was very large and even if the voice was not nearby, the building was naturally attuned with echoes. Voices carried quickly and it was clear the woman who was snapping didn’t bother to care.

Vara couldn’t help but twist slightly to her left, her single eye catching sight of one of the brunette women arguing with the leader Rick standing with Shane. “Just   
ignore Lori….she’s a bit of a pain, lots of hot air.” Beth’s soft melodic voice caught her attention, drawing her gaze back to the two people before her. Slowly, Vara nodded in acceptance of her words as her right hand rose to gently scratch at the mass of fur hiding in her hood.

“What do you have there?” Hershel questioned, causing Vara’s hand to stop its movement. The lack of movement seemed to catch the attention of the fur ball earning her a high-pitched mew. “A kitten?” Beth questioned what sounded like a mixture of confusion and gleeful surprise. Unable to help herself, Vara placed a protective hand over the creature. The hostility, the protective call in her soul seemed to catch Beth and Hershel’s attention, and it was Hershel that raised his hands in a gesture of peace. “Relax Vara…we aren’t cruel people….clearly that cat is important to you…we won’t mess with it.” 

Vara gazed over the two for a very long moment before slowly lowering her hand once more. Maybe she was beginning to trust these people too quickly, but they seemed gentle natured and kind. Maybe it was okay to give them at least some trust. Folding her hands gently in her lap, Vara watched closely as Hershel pulled out a variety of items and set them beside her on the tail of the van. She could recognize some stuff, such as bandages and gaze and antiseptic sprays and cream. Tilting her head to the side, she gazed over the additional items such as a pill bottle, which made her feel nauseous, some scissors, and a bottle of water.

“Now…this…might be a bit uncomfortable, but let’s start by having a look at that eye.” Hershel spoke softly, not moving just yet but watching her closely enough. Just her eye? It was probably the easiest thing for him to check and Vara was praying like hell that he wouldn’t wish to examine her beyond that. Taking a deep breath to calm the racing in her heart and the pounding of fear in her veins, she nodded. Slowly, as if approaching a feral animal, Hershel reached for her. Flinching hard, Vara couldn’t help but keep her good eye closed as his warm fingers gently touched her right eye. 

She could feel the pull of the old bandages as they were pulled from her. The sickly scent of infection, blood, and sweat signaled the telltale signs of a festering wound. A gentle hiss and a grumble of disgust told Vara all she needed to know about her eye. Seems it was worse than she had originally thought or maybe those were the sounds of disgust over the appearance. She had seen the eye once, before she had run away. Seen it in a mirror and cringed herself at the horror that had been inflected. It was her punishment, a punishment for denying those people. 

Her right eye was puffy, slightly red and slightly swollen. Dried blood coated the lid and hairs of the brow and lashes upon the eyes. The eye was closed and stitched with thin black thread. Warm fingers pressed on the lid causing a whimper to escape Vara’s split lips. A hum and a soft frown marred Hershel’s face, but Vara only caught the look for a moment before closing her good eye once more. “I’m going to get this cleaned up, alright? Seems a small infection has set in.” 

“Here.” Beth’s melodic voice called for her attention when Hershel turned to his equipment. Blinking her good eye, Vara gazed at the bottle of water that Beth was holding out to her. “Must be thirsty…it’ll help too.” She commented when Vara didn’t instantly take the bottle. Frowning, her single emerald eye stared at the contents for a very long moment. Thirst tugged at her throat, demanding her attention. A sigh escaped her lips as she took the bottle, too many memories of dangerous things in water bottles. Chewing her lip softly, Vara felt Hershel’s warm hand on her shoulder causing her to jolt. 

“Shh…relax…I’m going to start cleaning your eye now.” 

Somehow, Hershel telling her what he was going to do was nice. It was somehow reassuring to know the man spoke to her before touching her or treating her in an extended matter. Nodding, Vara gently took off the cap of the bottle and drank deeply from it. Hissing, Vara swallowed her mouthful of water harshly at the sting from the antiseptic soaked gauze Hershel had pressed to her eye. Taking another mouthful of water, Vara set the item aside in favor of petting the kitten. He had retreated to her other shoulder, hissing lowly at Hershel’s proximity to his hiding spot. 

“It’s not hard running around with this sort of wound I bet.” Hershel spoke as he cleaned. “You’re a tough young woman to be running around out here on your own…injured with no supplies. Surprised you managed to run from this group without getting caught.” 

A gentle sound, a breathy hum escaped Vara’s lips at the man’s words. Suddenly, she felt very tired and her body extremely heavy. It was difficult keeping her eye open and her body from swaying slightly to the left. Blinking rapidly to catch herself, Vara sat up straighter as her eye flickered back and forth between Hershel and Beth. Then like a bolt of lightning, it hit her and her eye widened. Shoving Hershel’s hand away, Vara quickly pushed herself off the end of the van. However, when her feet it the ground she could feel the muscles and the bones give. She collapsed to the floor with a bam, knocking down a good amount of medical equipment on the way. A painful wisp of exhaled air was the only verbal sign of her pain, having landed on her right side upon the cold concrete floor.

“What’s going on over there?” Rick’s voice echoed from somewhere in the distance. The clatter of approaching footsteps echoed all around before someone’s hands were upon her. Weakly thrashing, Vara found herself struck with panic and breathing heavily. 

“The hell’d you do to her Hershel?” The person who touched her voiced and she could feel her body leaving the floor. “Nothing more than some sleeping pills so I can look her over.” The old man replied as anger bubbled in Vara’s chest, feeling stupid for trusting the old man. However, the pills were clearly taking effect and Vara could tell. It wasn’t much longer before her vision turned black and she was pulled into the lull of a dreamless slumber. 

The gently lap of a rough and wet surface was what brought Vara out of her sleep. Her right eye twitched with the effort to open as her ears picked up the soft familiar purr of a little black body. She could hear noise all around her, but it was muffled and difficult to make out. Where was she now? With some effort, Vara’s good eye flickered open to stare up at the metallic roof of the van she had been treated in. 

Her body was warm and laying upon something softly. The tickle of fabric beneath her chin signaled the blanket that was wrapped tightly around her form. Breathing out a heavy sigh, she shifted only to whimper in pain. Her chest was tight, wrapped in several layers of bandages. It seemed she was covered in more bandages than skin as she raised her hand up to touch her chest. All sorts of patches covered her arms and hands, over cuts and scrapes. Shifting her head, Vara flinched before reached up to feel the bandage about her neck. Shivering at the sensation, Vara forced her hand down quickly before turning her head to the source of the purring.   
A tired smile came to her lips at the sight of the black kitten’s bright eyes. Reaching out, she gently and tiredly scratched behind the animal’s ear. At least they hadn’t taken him away from her. Another mew escaped the kitten before it got up and left her. Vara’s brows knitted in confusion as he wandered towards the closed rear doors of the van were two small makeshift bowls were set out. He stuck his head into one and the sounds of lapping water caused Vara to huff in surprise. 

Therefore, these people knocked her out…treated her wounds…and fed her cat? Confused was the only thing Vara could feel though the feeling of anger for being drugged was just below the surface. The sound of someone coming caught her attention and her eye wandered to the grime covered back window. The doors creaked open softly and Vara was greeted with a flood of light and a brunette woman. It seemed she had slept for some time, the light bright enough to most likely come from the sun rather than a fire.

“Mornin’.” The brunette spoke sweetly, her short hair bobbing with her every movement. She carried a bottle of water and a small plate. Being careful of the cat, Vara watched her climb into the van. “I’m Maggie. Daddy said you’d probably need some food and water when ya wake. How are you feeling?” The deep southern drawl rang out as the woman gingerly took a seat beside her. Vara eyed the bottle of water warily causing the woman to laugh. “Relax, Daddy didn’t do nothing to this one. He only put you to sleep so you’d be comfortable when he examined you.” 

Vara huffed before turning her face away, ignoring the woman the only way she could considering her physical state. “Oh come on now. It wasn’t so bad, patched ya up nice and good. You really should eat something.” Maggie spoke softly, her voice laced with concern and worry. Vara could hear the soft click of the plate being put down on the metal floor. “I’m sorry. Can’t imagine what you’ve been through. Hopefully, Daddy won’t have to do that ever again.” Vara continued to ignore her.  
Silence stretched on for what seemed like hours, but in reality was probably no more than a few minutes. A soft giggle from Maggie finally caught Vara’s attention enough to gaze back over. Her single eye widened slightly at the sight of the little black cat attempting to play with the bottle of water. “He’s really cute. Kind of young though to be away from his mama.” Maggie commented off handedly, seeming to make conversation regardless with Vara could actually reply.

Vara gazed at Maggie for a moment before her eye shifted to the plate of food. It looked like some kind of meat that was mixed with some vegetables, probably from a can. “Want some?” Maggie questioned as she gently picked up the plate in emphasis. Vara’s stomach hurt, the pains of hunger almost embedded in her physical being rather than a symptom. However, she was cautious and wary and it seemed like Maggie caught on quickly enough. “Merle and Daryl go hunting for us…this here is squirrel. It’s a little chewy, but it’s not so bad. My husband, Glenn, thinks it taste like chicken.” 

There was a lightness in Maggie’s tone and voice, something Vara was not really use to hearing all that much. Staring at the food, Vara found her hungry outweighing her caution as she slowly nodded her head in agreement. Maggie gently set the food down before moving to her side, causing Vara to seize up when Maggie reached for her. “Oh, hey now...don’t do that. I’m just trying to help you sit up so you can eat something.” 

Hesitantly, Vara nodded and Maggie helped her into a seated position with her back against the metallic side of the van. The woman gently placed the plate and a fork on her lap. It was then that Vara felt the blood drain from her features as she came to realize her state of undress. Though the blanket and bandages covered up most, she felt exposed and vulnerable without her clothes. Grasping the end of the blanket on her lap, Vara moved the food aside in favor of covering her body.   
“Eh…sorry…sorry Daddy got rid of your clothes since they were so dirty. I got ya some stuff you can wear though. So, eat first then we can get ya dressed.” Vara wasn’t sure if she liked all of her needs being taken care of by these people. She was not sure how long this treatment would last and she really did not want to owe these people any sort of debt. However, food and clothes…she needed those. Therefore, for the moment, she was quiet and she ate.

After eating, Maggie helped her into a pair of slightly loose jeans and a shirt that was a bit too big on her. “Hmmm…Daryl was right…you are a skinny thing.” Maggie muttered to herself. “Sorry ‘bout the shirt. It’s one of the guy’s spare…all we kinda have at the moment.” Vara made a slight movement, a shrug of her shoulders, which seemed to convey to Maggie that the clothes were not an issue.

“Now, you get some more rest. We’ll be leaving this place tomorrow. ‘Ccording to Rick, you’ll be coming with us. Think Rick believes you…about the bad people…hell most of us do. However, since yer a stranger and all…Rick’s taking some precautions till we can trust you. Can’t go nowhere by yerself and for now I gotta lock ya in the van…okay?” Maggie commented, almost sounding guilty but clearly doing what she thought was right. 

With a small sigh and a nod, Vara settled back down onto the floor. Rolling on her good side, she placed her hand gently on her kitten who decided to nap. Seems like she was stuck her for now, nothing much she could do. She could only hope, as Maggie climbed out and locked the door, that this group was made of good people. God, she hoped she had run into good people for once in her life. Listening to Maggie’s retreating steps, Vara snuggled down into the makeshift bed. There was more movement behind the grimy window of the van, blocking out more of the light than before. The movement was followed by a familiar clicking sound.

“You got this?” Rick’s voice flooded over her, muffled slightly by the van’s doors.

“Yea…course.” A deeper voice replied, gravel like smoke and charcoal. 

“She shouldn’t be much trouble.” A third voice, Hershel’s, if Vara remembered correctly. “She’ll be held up for a bit…considering she had a few broken ribs, more cuts and bruises than I can count, and a healing eye…probably could do with all the rest she can get.”

“Yea, but she managed to run away and hide from both us and that group with those injuries.” Rick commented softly. “We just need to keep an eye on her till we know we can trust her is all.”

“I got it covered Rick. I’ll switch out with Merle if I need ta.” The deeper voice responded. With sleep beginning to cloud her mind again, Vara was barely able to recognize the man from before. He was one of the brother’s…Daryl was it? The man with the crossbow who followed her up on the rafters. 

“Just make sure Shane doesn’t come poking around….this isn’t the same as Randall…I don’t thinks a threat…whatever group she’s come from…yeah…but not her.”   
Rick’s voice fluttered in her mind just as sleep sunk its claws deep into her soul.


	3. Tomorrow is Another Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yippie!
> 
> Say hello to chapter 3!
> 
> Hope you all enjoy.  
> Remember comments, questions, suggestions are all welcomed!
> 
> Also, I'm trying to figure out a name for the kitten....any suggestions? XD

Four days had passed since Vara’s encounter with this large group of people and for four days, she was locked up inside of the large white van. Maggie came to her with food and water, change of clothes, helped her with basic needs, and changed her bandages. They had left the warehouse she had been hiding out in some time ago, about two days ago. The large white van didn’t hold many people it seemed, not with her in it at least. That meant the group had to pick up another vehicle, which left fewer people in the van. Merle drove, she could see him from the little cabbie window with the Asian Glenn. In the back, Vara found herself in the company of Maggie and Daryl. 

That first day or so of travel had been a blur of confusion. All she could do was combat the feelings of weakness and exhaustion that plagued her body due to her wounds. She had been aware of Maggie and Daryl, the only two that seemed to stick pretty close to her or even seemed to pay her any mind while she was in the van. One of the days, Vara had been feeling well enough to ride sitting up, with her back supported by the metallic wall of the van. That day had been strange for her, sitting there petting the small black kitten she called her own while Maggie idly chatted with her. Strange? Didn’t the woman realize she couldn’t answer and that she didn’t care much? Daryl would make comments, the topics so random and simple. At one point, the window in the cabbie was open as well, allowing the liveliness of Glenn’s voice and the gruff amusement of Merle to accompany the mood. 

Today, today the van was parked in the driveway of some abandoned house. Vara could barely see it from the cabbie window from her spot on the floor. Her fingers stroked soft fur idly as she wondered about the people she was currently traveling with. They had left her locked up once more, searching the house or something. Sighing, Vara shifted slightly barely flinching at the tug the movement made on her wounds. These weren’t so bad….these weren’t anything new. However, it was nice to be treated and she didn’t need to worry about infection. It was kindness, even with what the old man did to her. He hadn’t seemed happy about it…had he. A soft   
ding on the roof caught her attention and Vara let out a huff of air. 

Bringing her blanket closer around her form, she frowned at the gently sound of rain beginning to fall. A shiver raced up her spine as she tucked the kitten into her lap as she brought her knees up as much as she could. The weather was changing with the oncoming rain and Vara began to wonder if she would be spending the night in a cold van. Shaking her head Vara felt a bloom of self-hatred at her stupid thoughts. Of course, she would be spending the night in the van! These people didn’t trust her! Besides, when had anyone every thought about her before? Sure, they treated her wounds….but so had those people. They’d leave her here just as those men had. It was stupid to be hopeful for anything else; she just needed to keep surviving. 

A sound caught Vara’s attention, causing her to perk slightly. It sounded like boots on wet concrete, splashing in pools. The noise was close and Vara could nearly sense the path those boots were taking around to the back of the van. A shadow casted the length of the dirty window and Vara couldn’t help but frown deeply as the sounds of the lock coming undone reached her ears. 

“Fucking rain…” A man muttered, instantly alerting Vara to who was there. She watched wide eyed and confused as Daryl opened the back doors of the van before jumping in. 

“Alright, come on.” He commented as he moved towards her, bending down to slide an arm behind her back. Vara felt her body go rigid and it seemed that Daryl had felt it too. Pausing in his movements, Vara found her single eye locked with Daryl’s squinted gaze. His lips were pressed in a firm line, eyes narrowed upon her as if he   
was…studying her. A small sigh escaped his lips as he withdrew his hands. 

“What? Ya wanna stay out in the van and freeze?” He questioned causing Vara to blink in confusion, tilting her head to the side. Biting her bottom lip, Vara couldn’t help the small lump in her throat or the constriction of hope in her chest. Was she being allowed in the house? Was that a good thing? Was something terrible waiting for her there? Slowly, without tearing her gaze from Daryl, Vara shook her head. 

“Alright, come on then. Ain’t in much of a condition ta walk ta the house.” He commented wrapping one of his arms behind her back again as he brought the other under her knees. Unable to help herself, Vara found herself wiggling in his grasp. “Would ya stop that? Or I’ll drop ya.” Daryl grumped, shifting her body in a way that jolted her injuries as he got out of the van. A breathy whimper slipped past Vara’s lips as a wave of pain radiated along her body. 

“S-sorry just hold still.” Daryl grumbled.

Did he…did he apologize to her? Vara wasn’t use to hearing those words anymore. The feeling of rain upon her flesh hardly bothered her as Daryl moved quickly to close the van doors before heading to the house. Rick stood in the doorway, holding the door open for them. Once inside, Vara couldn’t help the harsh shiver that raced down her spine at the warmth that radiated around her. A fire was going in a small fireplace, its light both heating the main floor and providing light as the storm clouds rolled in. 

Vara watched over Daryl’s shoulder as Rick closed the door, blocking it with a large armchair before following. She was placed gently onto an old sofa, her back propped up by one of the arms. She still had the blanket from the van and her kitten was still curled up safely against her stomach. Her single green eyes watched as Daryl left her there in favor of going to another room. Snapping her gaze back towards Rick, she watched as the man settled into an armchair. 

The sound of movement could be heard throughout the house, in other rooms, and above them. The rest of the group must have spread out for the evening. A soft clicking caught her attention, her gaze going instantly to the old man with the missing leg. Tensing, Vara found herself leaning away from the man as he hobbled past her before taking a seat on the coffee table. There was a guilty expression upon his features, clearly noticing her lack of trust in him. Sighing softly, Hershel placed his hands gently on his own knees and leaned forward.

“I’m sorry Vara.” He commented causing Vara even more confusion. Another person apologizing to her?

“You’re injuries looked grave and since I did not know how you’d react to the treatment, I put sleeping pills in your water. I promise you I won’t do such a thing again.” 

A huff escaped Vara, her body curling slightly away as she casted a narrowed glare at the man before her. The old man sighed back, his lips curling in a sad looking smile. “No, I suppose you wouldn’t trust me after that. Suppose I made the wrong call.” He muttered before he reached into the back pocket of his pants. Tensing, Vara felt the pull at her wounds and resisted the urge to flinch. 

“Here.” Hershel commented, holding out a small yellow notepad and a pen. “Found them in the kitchen. I packed a few more away for you. None of us are really familiar with signing, but this way you can still communicate.” 

Communicate? They wanted to actually communicate with her? That single hue stared at the paper and pen for a long moment before hesitantly reaching for it. No one wanted to hear a word from her; no one wanted to talk to her. Why did these people want to? Vara flinched when she had a grasp on the items in question, almost fearing they would be taken away from her. However, Hershel merely released his grip and gave her a soft smile. Pulling the paper and pen towards her form, Vara glanced Hershel over before sneaking a small peek at Rick, who sat quietly to the side. Seemed like he was almost relaxing by the fire, seemed like he was peaceful.   
Glancing down at the pen and paper, Vara couldn’t help the small smile that formed. Sensing movement, Vara watched as Hershel moved to stand again. He seemed to be planning to leave her alone once more, but before he could even make a step Vara’s hand shot out. Nimble fingers shyly grasped at the cuff of the man’s shirtsleeve. The slight tug it caused stopped Hershel in his tracks. Staring up at the old man, Vara had to wonder how stupid she really was to be think this man might not be so bad. 

Turning to the pen and paper, Vara made quick work. The gently sound of scratching echoed in the room before she held up the paper for Hershel to read.

(Thank you)

A smile came to the old man’s lips and he nodded. “You’re welcome. Now, rest up.” He commented before quietly leaving the room once more.  
Staring down at the paper and pen, Vara felt a small smile tug at her lips. It was stupid to get so excited over something so simple, but it meant Vara had a voice. They wanted her to have a voice. 

“How are you feeling?” Rick questioned from his spot, eyes barely open as he leaned back in the armchair. Their leader looked exhausted. She couldn’t help but wonder how much sleep and food the man must be getting. Why did she always have to worry over others? 

(I feel better, but can I get up?)

Rick raised a brow in what appeared to be confusion when she held out the pad of paper. “Only if you think you can. Your injures were bad, but nothing that should affect walking too much. Just take it slow.”

(Why did Daryl carry me then?)

“You’re still healing; while you might be able to walk I doubt you would have been able to run that distance.” Rick huffed with amusement in his voice. 

Nodding, Vara shifted slightly. The kitten in her lap stirred and with a gentle smile, Vara settled him upon her shoulder as usual, as she gently swung her legs over the side of the sofa. Planting her feet firmly upon the ground, Vara took a steady breath as she pushed herself up from the sofa. Her knees quaked and she swayed slightly, using the armrest to keep herself balanced. It took a moment and the vertical position of her body tugged at her wounds uncomfortable. Sighing after a moment, Vara felt herself balanced enough to move.

“Careful and don’t forget these.” Rick commented causing Vara to jump slightly in her skin when the man appeared behind her. Glancing at the pen and paper in the man’s hand, Vara nodded slowly before reaching for the items in question. Without much protest, she tucked the items into her back pocket as Rick stepped around her heading towards another room. “Come on, Carol’s cooking so food should be done soon.”

This was all so strange and Vara couldn’t help but wonder when the rug was going to be pulled out from under her. It was always pulled out from under her so she always expected it. Walking proved to be a bit difficult, her footsteps small and a bit unsure. She made it roughly five feet from the doorway when a sharp force knocked her off balance, sending her crashing to the floor. A loud howl escaped the kitten that had managed to leap from Vara’s shoulders to the safety of a nearby shelf when the woman fell. Her single eye shifted up, locking with deep brown eyes of the man with the shaved head. The glare he sent her was cold, icy, and familiar. He was like those men. She could sense it. 

“You okay?” He questioned, the lack of sincerity not lost upon her. 

“Hey pig, get out of the doorway will ya!” A voice echoed behind her causing her to jolt once more. At this rate, she was going to have a heart attack. Shane huffed at Merle’s comment, muttering something about rednecks before heading through the same doorway Rick went. 

“Fucking jackass…you okay girlie?” Merle questioned as he knelt down. The burly man made her frown softly and flinch as he reached out for her. “Ah don’t go doing that, ain’t like I’m gonna hurt ya. Ol’ Merle’s nothing but a gentleman.” He commented with a barking laughter as his hands clasped her arms. Surprisingly, the grip was light and strangely gentle. With ease, Merle pulled her back to her feet. He kept one arm around her back as he began to lead her through the doorway. “Alright   
let’s go get some food, huh?” 

To say she was confused would be the understatement of the year. Maybe she had just gotten so use to people not caring, not giving much of a fuck over her being that a little kindness was like a shock to her system. People like Shane, those were the types of people she was use to handling, and use to dealing with since the world went to the undead. Those sorts, well she could survive around, knew how to hold her own, and knew how to step up to the plate. Kindness, well she wasn’t very good at handling that. Most times, it was a false sort of kindness that never reached the other person’s soul. Actions meant for an end, an action for a reaction, and nothing more.

There was nothing in the way Merle spoke to her, in the way he acted around her, touched her, or gazed at her that spoke of anything dark. In fact, so far no one had given her any signs of a darkness of the soul. Sure, Hershel’s little stunt stung, but he had been genuinely apologetic in light of it all. She could see it in their eyes, a light of humanity that somehow managed to stay through the ending of the world. Even if those eyes were hardened, a little colder to the unknown, there was still warmth and a will to trust. 

Well…in most of their eyes anyways.

Vara’s lips curled into the smallest of frowns as Merle helped her into the next room. It looked as if the room had once been a dining room, but the furniture was long gone. The group was scattered on the floor, some taking up space with pillows or sleeping bags and such. Most looked comfortable, grateful for a moment of peace in a world full of chaos and strain. A few looked utterly exhausted, the children mostly Carl and Judith. Two sets of eyes, however made her cringe internally. Those were the eyes filled with the darkness of the world. Eyes that have lost the light of humanity and warmth, replaced with something cruel and selfish. Both eyes were brown and Vara avoided both gazes. 

Her feet were guided to a spot next to Daryl, just across from Michonne and Maggie. With a bit of help, she managed to sit comfortably with her back against the cool wall. It must have been linked to the other edges of the house, making it pleasantly cool but not as cold as to match the temperature outside. Allowing her single eye to close, a small smile raced over her features as something small and furry brushed against her ankles before curling on her lap. 

That single green hue took in the sight of the kitten as light fingers traced its spine in a sign of comfort and familiarity. The room was abuzz with ideal chitchat that   
had failed to quiet even before she stepped into the room. She could hear Carl going on about some comic book with Michonne, her eye taking in the close fondness Rick seemed to show the woman. A light arm wrapped behind her back as her eyes remained focused on the youth that babbled away tiredly with a sleeping infant in his lap. 

Beth sat besides Carl; humming a wordless tune, that Hershel seemed to be swaying too as he read a beat up old book. Maggie was curled into Glenn’s side, half dozing it seemed as Glenn gave her the gentle comfort of fingers through her hair. The pair made something warm bloom in her soul, a feeling that had seemed forgotten for so long. Tyreese and Sasha conversed a ways to her left near another door, the little Sophia standing in the entryway chatting along with their conversation. Daryl sat just to her left, working a stick with his knife in a manner that seemed well practiced and professional. Merle sat to her right, oddly quiet and observant compared to how he normally seemed. 

From the far right side of the room, Vara could feel the sting of eyes upon her. She didn’t need to look up, didn’t need to acknowledge the owners of those gazes.   
Shane and Lori sat there, a bit away from the group but close enough to be somewhat included. There was an underlying tension in the room; one that she had sensed since she first observed this group, however there was a stronger tension on top of that. That tension was clearly focused on her presence amongst them. It seemed only two people were missing, but the muffled clattering of pans and plates from the room behind Sophia quickly placed them. Andrea and Carol must have been left in charge of cooking. Part of her felt wrong for merely sitting here, accepting the group’s supplies without contributing anything. Another part of her wondered what she would do once she was fully healed. Would she be allowed to stay and earn her place? Would she even want to? Would they kick her out? Would she sneak away even if they asked her to stay? 

She had gotten far away from those people; at least she hoped and prayed she had. It wouldn’t be the first time she had gotten away for a few weeks only to be located again. However, this time she had not stayed close, but had run far. The last few times she had had reasons to stay close to those people, but those excuses had long since turned to dust. There was no reason to stay, so she didn’t. Ideally, Vara found her free hand flickering upwards. Her index finger grazed the thin stitching of her eye, a punishment she would never forget. 

It was a bit strange to feel her skin so clean and her hair brushed. It had been the first thing Maggie had done when she had been able to sit up. Took her out of the van for the first time only to wash up by a nearby pond the group happened to pass by. Of course, Andrea and Michonne had been their too. Too dangerous for Maggie to go alone, not that she could blame their need to be cautious. When had she last been so clean? 

“Stop that.” 

A deep rumble, words barely passing thin lips caught her off guard. Her single green eye flickered to the owner of said voice, locking on to one Daryl Dixon. The look on his face was firm, nearly unchanged, except for the small glimmer of concern that danced in his ocean colored eyes. Her brows creased in confusion before a large hand grasped her wrist. Turning her attention to Merle, she found the man gently pulling on her arm, pulling her hand from her face. 

“Gonna irritate the shit out of it if you keep playin’ with it.” He spoke, still sounding amused and grumpy, but he also had a strange look in his eye. She didn’t understand the expressions, wasn’t sure why they were even bothering to direction such looks at her. Either way, she bit her bottom lip and occupied her hands with the kitten upon her lap. 

“Vara? How are you holding up?” Michonne’s voice called for her attention and suddenly it seemed as if the room had gone silent. Green flickered to the sword wielder, watching as her hands signed as she repeated her question. Biting upon her bottom lip rather hard, Vara raised her hands just enough to sign in reply. 

(Sore, but fine) As before Michonne repeated the words she could not say and she watched as a few people nodded in acknowledgement. How did all these people care to know how she was doing? Was she slowing them down? 

“Don’t forget to keep that pen and paper on hand.” Michonne spoke as she signed. She wasn’t sure how she was going to remember to keep them on her person. Never before had she really needed such items, no one bothered communicating with her before all this. All she could do was nod, ducking her head in favor of paying attention to the animal in her lap. A scoff from the other side of the room seemed to draw attention rather quickly.

“Why are we dancing around the elephant in the room?” Shane’s voice bellowed, low and dangerous, “Treating her as if she is some victim or something when she could be potentially dangerous to us all.” 

“Shane’s right.” Lori chimed in causing Vara to wonder what the woman’s own opinions may or may not truly be. “All those injuries…clearly the people she’s with are dangerous. They could be using her to get to us or she could be just as dangerous.” 

“She isn’t with those people anymore.” Michonne bit off, sounding a bit irritated as if this was not the first time this argument had been had.

“How do you know, huh Michonne?” Shane questioned, voice sounding gruff and condescending. 

“I can just tell, can feel it.”The woman replied sternly without a hint of doubt or concern. 

“Really…can feel it? That’s not much proof.” 

“Can’t you even give the woman a chance?” Maggie interjected. “She’s been locked away in the van for the last four days and in that time she ain’t done one thing that’s harmed any of us.”

“But now she’s outside of the van…isn’t she?” Lori snipped in a sharp voice.

“Yeah, so give her a chance. Now she has a chance.” Beth defended her sister’s opinion easily enough. 

“So, you want to keep this woman around even with the threat that could be looming behind her?” Lori continued.

“We don’t even know if there is a threat.” Michonne replied, irritation rising.

“Who’s to say she even wants to stay with us? Maybe she wants to go out on her own once she’s healed?” Sasha interjected voice a bit soft and a little timid. 

“So, what? We let her go? So, she can go tell her group about us? Or get captured by her group and forced to talk either way?” Shane questioned.

“Do you want her to stick around or not Shane?” Glenn questioned with a huff of anger himself, something Vara hadn’t seen much of since meeting the Asian. 

“Would you all stop it?!” Andrea’s voice snapped from the door to their left. Carol stood a step to her right and Vara could make out the pot in the woman’s hands.   
Vara hadn’t the strength to raise her head during their discussion, hadn’t the strength to meet their gaze, or interject. What right did she have? There was no choice in her fate anymore. Why was it when she took fate into her own hands, it was eventually ripped away from her? She knew not to fight, not to question. There was not much she could do to defend herself, considering they probably wouldn’t even believe her. 

“Stop talking as if she isn’t sitting right here in the room with you.” Andrea spoke, words clipped in anger. “Don’t you all think we should hear her side of things before jumping to conclusions?” Carol chimed in, her voice icy and dark like a mother scolding their child. Vara suddenly felt uncomfortable as the feeling of many eyes seemed to focus on her being. Keeping her head down, ducked, hidden away had worked to keep the attention off of her. Now, now it was on her and she wasn’t sure exactly what to do. Her single green eye flickered up halfheartedly, taking in the faces of those around her. 

Maggie and her family looked…guilty. Michonne had a sad expression upon her face laced with the irritation she had heard. The woman’s hand signed ‘sorry’ in such a slow manner Vara felt the sincerity without evening hearing it. Tyreese was quiet, Sasha wouldn’t look at her, Shane and Lori glared at her, and Rick stared her down head on. Nothing upon the man’s face looked like judgment or anger or hatred, no Rick gazed at her with a thoughtfully calculating expression. Andrea and Carol’s expressions were infused with anger and pity. She didn’t much like that look. 

“Vara.” Rick spoke up for the first time, voice steady and calm, lacking any sort of negative emotion. There wasn’t anything happy there either, the whole situation serious and focused. However, just like his expression there was nothing dark.

“The choice is yours. When you’re healed…you can stay with us…or you can go.” 

“Rick!” Lori snapped from the other side of the room. “You would really put your children in danger over some strange woman? Again?” Lori growled out, the hatred and betrayal obvious in her tone.

“Again?” Michonne muttered, a strange smugness seeping into her voice. 

“That’s rich coming from the woman who was rollin’ round like a bitch in heat ‘hide her man’s back long before he ‘died’.” Merle huffed in amusement, seeming to voice the thoughts that went along with Michonne’s quietness. 

“Enough.” Rick spoke, voice stern signaling his position in the group all too easily. “I’m keeping a hold of my humanity, Lori. I’m putting my trust in Vara. She hasn’t done anything threatening. Her injuries don’t suggest she’s loyal to whatever group she was with. If she ran away, she’s clearly not intimidated by them enough to do   
their bidding. However,” Rick paused as his eyes flickered back to lock with her own.

“If she betrays that trust…I’ll make sure I’m the one to put a bullet in her brain.” 

The threat was there, underlined, highlighted brightly in red glowing letters. Rick was threatening her, but was making a point to say he trusted her now. He wouldn’t kill her without a reason and somehow Vara could respect that. His trust was in her for the moment, breaking that would be the end of it all. Somehow, Vara didn’t wish to break Rick’s trust in her. She didn’t want to prove Shane or Lori right or wrong. No, all she wanted to do was survive…maybe even live a little before it all came crashing down. 

She still wasn’t sure if she would come or go when she was healed, but for now she knew that she would never betray these people by interacting with the members of her old group. Not that she had nor wanted to interact with those people ever again anyways. 

Swallowing around the lump in her throat, Vara felt her body shift and she moved to stand. It was easier this time, legs no longer weakened from their uselessness that had plagued them by sitting in the van for so long. Silently, without gazing upon anyone, she signed then left the room. No one tried to stop her; no one said a word untill she was beyond the doorway.

“Michonne?” Maggie’s voice drifted.

“She said she needed some air.” 

Vara was sure they would send someone out after her, they wouldn’t leave her to her own just yet. For the moment though, as she stepped into what appeared to be an empty back bedroom, she could be alone. Closing the door behind her, she didn’t bother with the lock as she wandered towards the window, throwing it open without much care. It hissed in protest, but did little else in the ways of noise or complaint. The cold rainy air was fresh and crisp in her nose, snapping her sense awake and jarring her brain enough to think over what had just occurred. 

It wasn’t the first time her presence was ignored, wasn’t the first time threats had been made, wasn’t the first time she had been threatened to be killed, but it was the first time someone had stood up for her. It was the first time in a long time that someone requested her response, wanted her opinion, came to her defense, and trusted her. Vara shifted just enough to slide down the length of the wall and settle herself down on the floor.

Hooked in her right arm was the little furry body of the only thing she had had left in the world to care about. The black kitten purred as it snuggled closer into her body, seeking warmth and shelter. Leaning her head back, Vara sighed as she allowed her good eye to flicker closed. It was quiet for a good twenty minutes or so, but she recognized the sounds of boot falls down the hall. Someone had been sent after her just as she had figured.

The footfalls paused before the closed door, they were soft and quiet, and the person must have been light on their feet. A soft knock issued before the knob was turned, and the door was opened. Daryl’s face poked in through the crack in the door, catching Vara’s attention. From a distance, it was unfazed and rather emotionless. However, if she looked closer she could almost see the flicker of emotions that danced within the depths of his blue eyes. Upon seeing her, he opened the door more before slipping in. Vara’s brow rose in confusion when he closed the door behind him before approaching in a slight awkward, almost timid manner. 

In his hands was a bowl? Whatever was in it however smelt great and Vara could feel her stomach churn with interest. Daryl took a seat on the bed before her and held out the bowl. “Gotta eat something, keep yer strength up.” Nothing more was said and silence passed between them for a long moment before Vara hesitantly reached out to take the bowl. A small smile came to her lips as her eye flickered closed in pleasure over the scent of the warm food. Looked to be some sort of stew or soup with little chunks of meat and vegetables, it would be filling. 

Raising a hand, Vara signed as she opened her eye. (Thank you).

A crease in Daryl’s brow caused Vara to frown softly as she realized the lack of communication she had with this person and many others before him. Biting her bottom lip, Vara turned her gaze away in shame and a bit of humiliation. Shifting caused Vara to pause as the crumble of paper caught her attention. Perking, she quickly reached behind her to pull out the supplies Hershel had given her. Scribbling down her words quickly, Vara held it out to the silent archer.

“Thank you.” Daryl read aloud, his eyes narrowed in concentration as his eyes flickered from the note to her. Then, he did something that caused Vara’s eyes to widen in surprise. Daryl signed back to her, repeated her actions. 

“That’s how ya did it right?” He questioned, sounding a bit unsure of himself and his own actions. 

A smile broke out over Vara’s lips without her realizing it as a feeling of happiness bubbled in her chest. He took a small interest in her language. Why that made her so happy? Well, she wasn’t sure. 

(Yes…you did it correctly.) Vara signed, frowning again as Daryl’s brows creased.

“What’s that all mean?”

Gazing down at her notepad and pen, Vara couldn’t express the lightness that flooded her being. Maybe, just maybe this group wasn’t so bad. Maybe, they would help bring a light into her world one that had been forgotten for so very long. After all, tomorrow is another day.


	4. Focus on Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Everyone!
> 
> I am soooo sorry for the long wait! I swear I don't know what exactly happened but between work and the holidays my muse went out the window and I lost track of time.
> 
> With that being said here is a new chapter!
> 
> I am going to attempt to up my work a little by trying to get a chapter out every week in at least one of my stories. 
> 
> I promise if I every stop writing a story you all will be the first to know. I know 2 months is a sucky wait time and I am so sorry....eh hurts so much to say that XP. I will try to get better at that.
> 
> Per usual, please feel free to comment, ask questions, post suggestion, ect. 
> 
> SO! ENJOY THE NEW CHAPTER!

The morning air was crisp with the small shrill of a chill from the rain that had fallen upon the Earth the night before. The soft sounds of water splashing, was the only noise amongst the early morning birds and scattering of animals within the trees. A high-pitched mew, a noise of annoyance, echoed as water splashed just inches too close for the comfort of one small black kitten. Yellow eyes seemed to narrow in irritation causing Vara to pause long enough to smirk, shoulders shaking with a silent laughter. Fingers danced a soft apology before she turned back to the barrel of water. 

It was a bit surprising, but sneaking around this group had proven to be far more…simple than she had imagined. She had woken early, which was rather normal, right before the sun kissed the hills and winked at the world. The group had left her alone in that back bedroom for the evening, her only company being that of one Daryl Dixon. Vara had to admit her surprise in the man, whose quiet demeanor could nearly rival her own. Yet, he had been curious…asked simple questions…nothing probing or deep by any means. He had mostly questioned how she spoke with her hands, asking small things like how to say certain words. Vara wasn’t sure what to make of it, not use to anyone paying her any more attention than what was required. 

When the evening had carried on too long, Daryl had left for watch and his brother Merle had take watch over the room. It seemed the group still wished to keep her under some sort of watch for the time being. Guess she couldn’t blame them, but they were clearly not use to keeping a ‘prisoner’…was she technically a prisoner? Either way, when morning had come Vara had left her room to find Merle sleeping rather peacefully against the wall next to the door. Man must have been tired, sleeping while standing wasn’t exactly easy. Maybe the last few days or the days before their meeting had been exhausting. 

A small peek into what appeared to be a living room revealed the presence of the majority of the group. There was creaking overhead and Vara noted the absents of the children, wondering if they had been spread out upstairs for safety. Besides the children, the only other people missing where Rick and Daryl, yet a slight peek out the front windows revealed the men’s location. They were standing side by side, seemingly relaxed, and spoken in low whispers. Planning probably. There was a desire in Vara’s soul to be outside too. Most of her life had been restricted and after the world, ended four walls could become…too much. With a simple thought in mind, Vara wandered the floor of sleeping bodies to the kitchen. The house was quiet as was the rest of the world; it was too easy to slip out the back door with a little kitten on her heels. 

Luckily, all the time she had been forced to rest in the van seemed to have done wonders for her health. Sure, she was sore and little shaky on her feet, but for the most part she felt…great. When was the last time she had felt so good? Though she doubted it would last, for the moment she was happy. Standing on the back porch, Vara’s eyes had been drawn to a large wooden barrel that sat silently in the neighboring yard. A rare quirk of her lips, the smallest quip of a smile appears as Vara began to head towards it. Thankfully, this particular neighborhood seemed to have a thing against fences and with the quiet world around her Vara felt a strange sense of confidence. Sure, men had damned her. Humans had hurt her. Taken her world from her and destroyed everything and she had had to fight for her life. However, the walkers were something she was use to and had never had much issue with. She could deal with them easily and therefore, while she was cautious, she was confident in her abilities to handle such a threat. Therefore, she was caution due to her lack of weaponry. Didn’t help the group was still being cautious with her and the chances of getting a weapon anytime soon was probably slim. 

Once at the barrel, Vara peered over the edge cautiously as her lips began to widen in a small expression of joy. It was filled to the brim with clear rainwater. What luck to find such a thing without any sort of mold or other issue? Glancing down at the kitten at her heels, Vara huffed before dipping her hands into the chilly water. The first splash had been invigorating and soon Vara found herself scrubbing at her arms, her face, and hair. The group had cleaned her up some with her arrival and treatment, but the chance to clean herself was all-consuming. Part of her wished she had some sort of supplies, soap, something. However, she had no such thing…no luxury…which was fine by her. 

The kitten stayed far away after the first splash of water as Vara’s silent laughter settled. Water droplets clung to her skin, hair, and eyelashes. The rim of her t-shirt was soaked and a chill was beginning to settle into her bones, yet she didn’t care. For the first time in a long time, Vara felt herself relax and breathing in the peace of the quiet morning. Leaning on the barrel, her single green eye flickered over the surrounding trees that ran the length of several backyards. Her survival-trained eye took in all forms of movement, silently cataloging within her mind. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary and there were no signs of threats. What a rarity.

Combing her fingers through her hair, Vara ignored the fact that her eye bandage was wet and beginning to slip off. Satisfied with her semi-clean hair, Vara huffed at the short locks that bobbed just beneath her chin. Kneeling, Vara held out her hand snorting in amusement as the kitten instantly darted to her. In an instant, claws dug into her flesh and the material of her shirt until he was settled delicately on her shoulder. Petting his head gently, Vara couldn’t help another small smile as the little thing began to purr in enjoyment over her fawning attention. 

A sharp sound shattered the tranquility of the morning, the sound of a door slamming back harshly, the clatter of heavy boots, and the cocking of a shotgun. Her eye widened as her attention snapped to the backdoor of the house, locking eyes with deep brown. 

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Shane questioned voice low and dangerous. His eyes were narrowed in suspension and Vara could easily bet that nothing she said would be believed. 

“Shane what’s going on?” A slightly panicked Lori questioned, her face appearing just over Shane’s shoulder. 

Vara felt like a deep trapped in headlights, frozen and confused, with one hand raised to pet her cat. She merely stood there and stared, not at the gun but at the man. It wasn’t the first time a gun was pointed at her and probably wouldn’t be the last. However, Vara could hardly control the racing of her heart in her ribcage or the instinctual desire to turn tail and run. However, she didn’t run. No, she stood her ground and continued to lock eyes with Shane. The man didn’t seem very pleased. 

“Shane?” Lori questioned when the larger man failed to answer her first inquire. 

“What’s going on?” Rick’s voice flooded the area as he and Daryl appeared around the corner of the house, clearly having heard the noise from the front porch. “Shane!   
Put that down.” Rick barked the order that the other clearly ignored.

“What’s she doing out here Rick? Isn’t Daryl or Merle supposed to be watching her?!” He growled in anger. “She could have fucking killed us in our sleep and you wouldn’t have noticed.” Lori chimed in, voice panicked. 

Vara felt a stab of pain at the accusations to crimes she never even considered committing. Her single eye studied the slight look of guilt that flashed over Rick’s expression before he straightened out. “I’ll talk to Merle; he was supposed to be on watch.” Rick stated. “But I don’t think she would have done that; now put the gun down Shane.” 

Shane continued to ignore him, but his eyes darted to the other man quickly. “Maybe she was running Rick….you wanna risk that? She got around too easily. She’s a   
threat.” 

“She’s not a threat.” Rick snapped, his hand coming out to grip the barrel of the shotgun and forcing it to point at the ground. Vara wasn’t sure if it was from the man’s physical strength, force of his will, or understanding of the other man that allowed the gun to be lowered without being shot. 

“Then what was she doing out here?” Lori questioned. “If she’s not a threat, then why is she sneaking around?”

“Why don’t you fucking ask her….” Daryl’s low southern drawl seemed to cut through the air, drawing all eyes on the man. Vara noted his narrowed eyes and squared   
shoulders, clearly not pleased with what was going on and though Vara couldn’t make it out, she saw emotion flash through his eyes. Rick seemed pleased with the   
man’s actions, while Shane looked even more angered, and Lori looked appalled.

“Vara…” Rick called, gaining her attention easily. “Why are you out here?” 

Frowning, Vara’s fingers flickered in the air but her brows began to knit when she began to notice the lack of understanding on their features. Dropping her hands, Vara looked away for but a moment before she began to pat at her pockets, silently cursing herself for forgetting the pen and paper in the house. Glancing up, she found herself locking eyes with the younger Dixon brother. An idea fluttered in her mind and her heart raced at the thought, was it possible? Biting her bottom lip, Vara raised her hands again.

(A)

Daryl’s eyes seemed to narrow in concentration at the single hand movement and Vara took that as a sign to continue.

(I)

A flutter of unbound joy, a feeling she hadn’t experienced in years, burst forth as Daryl nodded sharply. He understood! He remembered the things they talked about   
last night, he was recognizing things.

(R)

At the last letter, Vara noted Daryl’s confusion and felt the flutter of joy die a little. He didn’t recognize that one, she could tell. Part of her suddenly felt discouraged and her hand dropped slightly as Shane’s voice cut through the silence.

“This is a waste of time…how are we suppose to communicate with a mute…”

“Shane,” Rick growled out lowly. “Give her a moment.” Had the older man recognized the bit of communication that connected her and Daryl? His blue eyes locked with her single eye and he nodded, as if urging her to continue. 

Glancing back at Daryl, Vara fully dropped her hands, not sure, if it was even worth the effort anymore. Of course, he wouldn’t remember much, he was probably just trying to be nice. 

“She wanted some air.” Daryl spoke causing Vara to perk. 

“Since when do you understand sign language?” Shane questioned, sounding very demeaning.

“If you focused on her for a minute you might learn something…” Daryl muttered as he began to walk forward coming closer. Vara watched as he dug into his back pocket before producing one of the pens and pads of paper Hershel had passed off to her last night. “Ya…really should remember to carry one of these.” He muttered handing it over and Vara felt lost as she continued to stare at the man. Gently, she took the material and hesitantly looked down. Chewing her lip once more, she began to write. 

(I’ll try. Thank you. I wanted some air and I wanted to wash up. There’s a full barrel of rainwater. It’s clean if others want to use it too.)

She wrote in careful, small lettering before showing the note to the archer. She watched as Daryl slowly nodded his head before conveying her message back to Rick and the other’s. Rick seemed to smile at her and she wasn’t sure why. 

“Good find Vara.” He commented causing Vara to blink her single eye in complete confusion over the situation. It wasn’t as if it was something big or anything, just some simple water. Moreover, she wasn’t exactly a selfish person so of course she would share it with the group. If there was one thing she learned over the years was sharing what you had with those around you, either willingly or forcefully. She never really had anything or any reason to be selfish. 

Shane scoffed softly as he lowered the shotgun and began to stomp across the once peaceful lawn, headed in her direction. Vara continued to hold the man’s eye contact as he got nearer, but as he approached within a few feet from her, she looked away. Flinching slightly, Vara watched as he brushed past her and gazed into the barrel. He was gazing at the water with such concentration Vara wondered if the man was trying to move it with his mind or something equally stupid. 

“The water’s clean.” Daryl commented sharply, it seemed the hunter was quiet but his words could cut. 

“Still should boil it.” Shane muttered, his brown eyes locking with her single green hue before she abruptly turned away. Before Shane could brush past her once more,   
Daryl’s hand grasped her forearm in a firm grip and pulled her to the side. The action prevented Shane from harshly brushing past her, an action that clearly made the shaved man’s temper rise just a bit.

Glancing up at the hunter, Vara nodded her head to show her acknowledgment and gratefulness over such a simple action. Daryl nodded in return as he slowly let go of her arm. A soft meow caught Vara’s attention as she quickly raised her hand to pet the startled black kitten that perched so comfortably upon her shoulder. Vara perked at the sight of another hand coming up, this one belongs to Daryl, his fingers gently brushing the kitten’s head in a gentle manner. Vara was shocked; usually the kitten didn’t like anyone but her getting close to him and especially petting him. It was an odd reaction, but Vara wondered if it was a sign of the man’s character or not. 

“Well, we’ll get some of that water boiling…get breakfast going then head out.” Rick commented seeming to follow Shane and Lori back into the house. The leader glanced back at them for but a moment, seeming to confirm whatever connection was there before disappearing. Frowning softly, Vara pulled slightly away from Daryl and allowed her single eye to glance around with a curious stare. Moving away from Daryl, Vara moved over to the neighboring yard, which made her about a house away from the group. 

She could hear the sound of movement behind her, which signaled the hunter was following her. She wasn’t much surprised by that, she was more surprised by the fact that the man hadn’t said anything more to her. He hadn’t tried to usher her back into the suffocating air of the house, no he merely followed behind her and seemed to observe. That was fine for Vara as she came to the side of bright blue painted house, the paint worn and fading but still bright like the sky. 

Pausing, her eye widened slightly as she knelt down and began to root around in the overgrown weeds and grass that rose as high as her knees. She had made sure to tuck the pen and paper into her back pocket before she began to search about. An excited gasp escaped her lips as her single eye fell upon exactly what she thought she would find. Without thinking twice, Vara reached up and took the small kitten off her shoulder. Setting him down amongst the grass, she watched for a moment as he ran amongst the leaves on the ground. 

Grasping the base of her shirt, which was still probably two sizes too big, she stretched it wide in front of her. It formed something similar to a little carrier and she began to pull up the remains of a little vegetable garden. She placed the items in the pouch she made with her shirt, but paused as she felt movement behind her. Glancing over her shoulder, Vara blinked at the sight of a bucket being held out to her. Her single eye locked with Daryl’s for a moment before she took the item in question. Dumping the veggies in the container, she moved back to continue picking what she could find. 

“How’d you know this was here?” Daryl questioned causing Vara to pause and look back at him. 

A soft exhale was his answer at first, until she pulled the pen and paper from her back pocket. With the same neat little handwriting as before, she handed him the note. 

(Usually gardeners use rain barrels. Plus this house has a lot of potted plants in the window. I figured it was worth a shot.)

She could hear Daryl huff at her, but oddly the sound was strange. It wasn’t degrading or angry, not even annoyed or irritated. No, the man had sounded amused and when she turned to lock eyes with him, he had a small quirk of a smile in the corner of his lips. “Yer pretty smart, huh?” He questioned, to which Vara merely frowned and shrugged. 

Shaking her head, she turned and reached down to pick up her kitten. Settling the little one upon her shoulder, she silently followed Daryl back to the house. Halfway there, Vara felt her body giving clearly pushed too much in such a short time considering the level of damage done to her body. Stumbling slightly over her own feet, she was surprised when Daryl quickly took the bucket from her. Righting herself, Vara frowned before holding her hands out.

“Nah, I got it.” He commented as he continued to walk away causing Vara to frown softly as her hands dropped to her sides. She wasn’t useless; she could carry a bucket…even if she was tired. Seeing, as Daryl would pay her no more minds, she shook her head and continued to follow the man.

Once back at the house, they entered through the backdoor and walked into a kitchen that smelt like powdered eggs and oatmeal. Andrea turned to greet them and her eyes widened. “Oh! Daryl, where did you find all those vegetables?” Keeping herself back, Vara waited and hoped for a chance to slip passed these people for a more open area. 

“Vara found them, long with a rain barrel.” Daryl commented and Vara swore she’s never seen anyone’s face light up so much as Andrea’s did. “Really! God, thanks Vara I haven’t had carrots in forever. They’re my favorite.” Blinking, Vara felt an odd heat begin to consume her face as she looked away. She wasn’t sure she could handle the woman’s happiness over such a simple thing. Yet, being thanked for what she had done…even if it was small…was nice. Nodding at Andrea, Vara pushed some hair from her face before allowing her hand to land upon her kitten. 

“Man that kitten’s attached to you. What’s its name?” Andrea questioned as she turned back to cook the powdered eggs. Vara frowned as she watched Daryl move away with the bucket, leaving her alone with the blonde woman. Silence stretched between them for a long moment before Andrea turned back to face her. Still frowning, Vara scratched behind her left ear before moving her hands to get the pen and paper. Man it was such a hassle to have to write everything down like this.  
(He’s name is Harriet)

Andrea seemed to pause as she read over the name before glancing over at the kitten. “It’s perfect.” She commented as she reached forward in an attempt to touch the little animal. However, per usual, Harriet turned teeth and claw on the woman with a deep hiss. Luckily, he hadn’t hurt Andrea or anything but he had given her a bit of a scare. “Wooh…okay clearly he’s a mama’s boy.” She teased before turning back to cooking the eggs. She seemed a bit…depressed over the fact she couldn’t pet the kitten, but Vara really didn’t have any control over the little creature. 

“Breakfast will be done soon if you wanna go head into the other room with the others.” Andrea commented into the silence. Nodding, Vara wandered towards the other door and paused. She really didn’t like the idea of going into a room full of people. It just seemed as if everyone’s focus was on her, she wasn’t use to it.   
Entering the same room from the night before, she was greeted in a similar manner. A few small smiles, a wave or two, the nod of a head, and the glare of two sets of brown eyes, however her attention quickly settled on that of Rick and Merle. The older Dixon was huffing, muttering something about ‘she’s harmless’ and ‘don’t need no babysitter’, while Rick calmly explains something about being safe for the moment. She doesn’t even have to pay too much attention to know for a fact that they are talking about her. 

When Rick moves away, Vara finds herself in the same place as the night before. It wasn’t as if she couldn’t sit somewhere else, but it was like the spot was saved for her. So, with a small sigh she settled down on the floor between the two Dixon’s once more. No one paid her much mind today, which she could appreciate. It allowed her to do what she always did and that was observing those around her. It was always strange being close to a group, getting to see all the interactions and movements, both verbal and non-verbal. She liked to watch communication. Maybe because she wished to have that communication too but knows she never would?  
Out of the corner of her good eye, she can see Daryl still fiddling with the same stick and knife from before. However, the stick was clearly being shaped and she could see the beginnings of an arrow forming. It was an interesting skill and she couldn’t help but watch for a few moments before she felt eyes upon her. Glancing to her right, Vara tensed up when she locked eyes with the steely blue of the older Dixon. 

The older man was staring at her hard, his lips pressed firmly together in a tight line. He didn’t exactly looked pleased and Vara could help but frown softly. Reaching behind her, she quickly pulled the pen and paper from her back pocket before she scribbled something out. Holding the notebook to Merle, Vara watched the man closely. Those steely blues seemed to narrow for a moment as they scanned the paper, but after a few moments, his lips curled in a smirk and a small chuckle left his lips. 

“Yer fine girlie. Just make sure Ol’Merle’s up for you go running around on yer own.” He commented before patting her shoulder rather roughly, enough to cause her to lean forward with the force of it. 

“Don’t break her, Merle.” Michonne scolded from her spot across from them. There was an amused smile upon her face and it was painfully clear she had been watching their interactions for some time. “So, what’s the plan Officer Friendly?” Merle called causing Vara to frown some as Rick gazed up from where they had been focused on the baby in his lap. 

“We should probably find someplace permanent for the winter.” Rick commented as he shifted Judith to his shoulder so he could gently pat her back. Vara found herself watching with a small curl of the lips, happy to see some people actually still cared about the children of the world. Feeling something brush against her neck,   
Vara sighed as Harriet slipped down onto her lap. He was clearly demanding the attention she was not giving him. Shaking her head, she began to scratch his ears as Rick and Merle settled into a calm conversation over possible options for a winter home.

It wasn’t long after that that breakfast was served and then everyone was beginning to pack up his or her things. Well, Vara really didn’t do much in terms of packing since she really had nothing. Instead, she focused on helping Carol get water from the barrel and Andrea with any more vegetables that might have been hiding in the tall grass. Once the group was ready, they began to pile into their separate vehicles, knowing that they couldn’t stay here too long. 

Vara didn’t blame them for moving on so quickly. Sure, this place was nice, but it was much too open and easily could be overtaken. Besides, Vara’s mind wasn’t focused on their travel as the current dilemma of where to go clouded her mind. She had spent the last few days in the back of the van, not that she really wanted to be holed up and locked up back their again. 

Chewing her bottom lip softly, Vara huffed as she felt something gently bump into her shoulder. Glancing over her shoulder, straining more because the person was on her bad side, she frowned at the sight of Daryl. Why had the archer pushed her? The man rose a brow before gesturing forward, pointing towards the front seats of the van. Merle was already parked in the driver’s seat, adjusting mirrors and such. Glancing at Daryl again, Vara couldn’t help but raise a brow.

“Get in. You’ll ride up front with me and Mer.” He commented and Vara slowly nodded, accepting it with little argument. After all, what other options did she have? Climbing into the van, Vara settled in the middle of the long seat as Daryl climbed in on her other side. Harriet settled gently on her lap, the convoy of cars headed off to another destination. Sometimes, Vara couldn’t help but wonder how much longer people could travel by cars before all the gas disappeared or before all the cars went bad. 

They drove for most of the day, stopping here and there to scout out abandoned cars or small buildings. Most of the time, Vara was left in the van, Daryl saying something about not being healed enough to bother getting her hands dirty. She didn’t like it. Sure, she wasn’t forced to do anything here in this group, but that didn’t mean she wanted to be an invalid. However, exhaustion was consuming as her body healed and more times than she could count she dozed off as they drove.   
A few hours before the sun would dip over the horizon for the night, the group pulled up outside an old farmhouse. It was high on a hill, in the middle of a vast field. The property was lined in barbed wire and seemed to be a decent enough defense against walkers for the night. The inside of the house was dusty, but otherwise clean with only three walkers when Glenn, T-Dog, Rick, and Daryl swept it before allowing anyone inside. As the evening sun began to set, Vara found herself huddled in a large bay window near the back of the house. Once more, she kept herself away from the people of this group in favor of the company of her kitten. Besides, it was nice to be able to see such a pretty sight. The back of the house, one could see miles of farmland and the beauty of a fresh forest lining the property. She couldn’t help but wonder what sort of animals would have lived in this area, what sort of crops this farmer would have raised.

Glancing down at Harriet, Vara snickered softly at the thought of Harriet being a barn cat. He wouldn’t be able to do it, too much attachment. Petting the animal softly, Vara perked at the sound of creaking and turned her gaze towards a door not too far from her. The soft pleasure filled sounds of a couple in the moment reached her ears, causing her cheeks to tint a rather sharp pink. Not exactly what she wanted to listen to this late at night. With that thought, Vara rose from her spot and moved away from that hallway. However, at the other end of the hallway was another door and there she heard the distinctive sounds of tapping. 

Pausing, Vara poked her head into the kitchen that was but a few feet away. She could see the woman, Lori leaning over the counter. Her fingers were tapping irritably against the tile of the counter, her back to Vara. Watching the woman for a moment, Vara wondered what it was that had this woman so tense. It wasn’t like Vara wanted to get too close to her, but she was curious. She still hadn’t decided on whether or not she would actually want to stay with this group or not, but she figured she had enough time for the moment. 

Stepping away from the kitchen, Vara continued to wander the house. She spotted a few people in the living room, a few people settled in the dining room, and one curious person in the little study the house held. It was small, a single desk but each wall was covered in shelves and a multitude of books. Vara couldn’t help but think fondly of the room. It had been a long time since she had read a book and in this new world, old entertainment was the best kind. However, she had not expected to see the archer. He was perched on the edge of the study desk, flipping through a book. Tilting her head to the side, she watched as the man touched each page almost gently with his fingertips.

As if sensing her presence, Daryl’s gaze jerked up sharply and he snapped the book closed hard. Wide eyed, Vara backed up slightly, her hand already signing an apology. Without hearing the archer’s next words, she left the room feeling as if she had disturbed the man in some way or another. Pushing her hair from her face, Vara sighed heavily as she rounded a corner in an attempt to explore more of the house.

However, as she turned the corner she found herself colliding with a solid form. Staggering back slightly, she was quick to rub her nose at the slight sting of the pain there. Her single green eye flickered upwards locking on to the last person she wanted to run into, Shane. “What do you want?” He questioned harshly, clearly his dislike of her not fading in the least. Huffing, Vara shook her head as she moved past the man. 

She didn’t get far before his hand shot out, grasping her forearm in a hold so strong, it felt like her bones would break beneath the tension. Hissing, Vara attempted to pull her arm free, but compared to the strength of the taller man she was pulled forward harshly. “Listen to me…and listen good. You do one thing to fuck up….get someone hurt or God forbid killed…I’ll make your life a living hell. I don’t trust you one bit.” Staring the man down with her single eye, Vara bit harshly into her cheek to stifle any noise of displeasure or pain that would only add to this man’s satisfaction. A loud yowl noise echoed as Harriet circled her feet, hiss harshly at the larger man. He was clearly in distress over the situation. 

Huffing, Shane pushed Vara away, the force causing her to stumble over her own feet. Landing harshly on the wooden floor, Vara groaned as she quickly cradled her arm in her lap. It didn’t feel broken, maybe numb and it would surely bruise. Glaring up at the man, Shane’s eyes narrowed darkly at the small black kitten that was still hissing at his feet. 

“Fucking cat.” He growled and before Vara could think, she had shot up from her place on the ground. Swooping the cat out of the way, Vara cried out in silent pain as   
the man’s boot hit her in the side. Holding Harriet close, Vara’s single eye narrowed on Shane as the man shook his head with a dark laugh. “Stupid.” He hissed before he began to walk away. Cringing, Vara watched until the man disappeared. 

Placing her free hand on her side, Vara sighed at the soreness she felt there. Pulling herself up, Vara trembled at the slight pain in her side as she wandered away from the area. Somehow, she found herself back at the bay window she had been sitting at earlier. The creaking of springs had long since died causing Vara to sigh heavily. She should have just stayed put. Settling herself back against the window, she tucked Harriet into her lap as she allowed her single eye to glance out into the darkness once more. 

She could see the straggled movements of a walker out in the distances, but it was much too far to be bothered with. Footfalls brought her attention away from the window and suddenly she found herself locking eyes with the younger Dixon. “Yer fast on yer feet….quiet too.” He muttered as he moved towards her, a book clutched in his left hand.

Tilting her head to the side, Vara eyed the book before she eyed Daryl. Shifting, she made a bit of room on the seat of the bay window for the archer. It seemed he understood her invitation, for he easily took up a spot next to her. “What happened?” Daryl questioned and Vara should have known better than to let the man with the sharpest eyes near her. 

Gazing at the bruise that was forming on her forearm, just above the wrist Vara huffed. 

(Ran into something) 

She signed pausing when Daryl frowned at her softly. Shaking her head, she moved to check her pockets. Not feeling the pad or her pen, she felt a bit of frantic energy course through her body. Biting her bottom lip, her single eye locked onto Daryl with an expression of apology. However, upon looking up she found herself face to face with a pad of paper and a pen. “Gotta remember these.” Daryl muttered his tone a bit scolding, which caused Vara to frown as she quickly snatched the items from the man.

(I’m not a child. But thank you.)

Daryl huffed out a slight laugh before he pointed at her arm once more. “What happened?” 

(Ran into something)

There was no reason to cause any sort of trouble within the group by telling Daryl what Shane had done. Maybe no one would believe her and at this moment, she really didn’t want to be kicked out of the group. No, she wanted it to be her choice for once in her life. Daryl’s brows knitted as he read what she wrote and for a moment, she thought he would question her. However, he didn’t say a word but merely nodded his head.

“Be careful.” He commented before he pulled the book he had been holding onto his lap. “Um…found this in that room…thought ya could teach me?” Daryl commented holding out the book. Tilting her head to the side, Vara leaned forward, winching slightly at the pain in her side. At the sight of the book, her single eye went wide and she looked up at Daryl quickly.

(You really want to learn, why?)

“Gotta talk ta ya somehow.” 

Vara frowned as she looked at the title of the book again and felt that same strange flutter of joy in her chest as she did the night before. Feeling warmth coming to her cheeks, Vara nodded sharply as she shifted to sit up some more allowing Daryl to lay out the book he had with him. It was a sign language book; someone in the farmhouse must have been deaf or mute or had worked with someone who required the language. Daryl wanted to learn her language…was it really more than just curiosity? Passing entertainment? Did it much matter at the moment? 

No, no it didn’t. Someone was focusing on her, but in a positive manner and she was being useful. Therefore, there she stayed for several hours into the chill of the   
night, pouring over the book with Daryl. Barely able to make out the pages by the light of the full moon, but making progress.


	5. Scars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Everyone!
> 
> So sorry for the long wait. I know it's been sometime and honestly I can't give much of an excuse. It's been busy season at work and I kind of forgot about writing for a long time. 
> 
> I want to thank everyone who dropped me a message while I was gone and thank everyone who has been patiently waiting for the next chapter/story to come out. 
> 
> With that said here is the next chapter! I hope you all enjoy.

It was sticky, it was dark, and it clung to her flesh in the sickest fashion, a second skin painted red. The thick copper scent in the air tingled at her nose, teasing the sense in such a manner that it turned her stomach. Yet, it left her expression blank and remorseless. There were no regrets in her actions, no mercy, and yet it was brutal and filled with such a deep seeded rage. It was a work of art really, splattering the ground in a disarray of gore and brain matter, some morbid painting of abstract art. 

A single green eye scanned the body, lost and shattered in a world that no longer wished for its presence. Malnourished, concave belly, sickly pale skin, and white eyes all wrapped up in some survivor get up of cargo pants and a thick jacket. The sliver of light from the moon cast high in the sky was the only source of light, illuminating the man’s once black hair, now dusted with salt and dirt. It was a depressing sight to say the least and that single hue was locked firmly on the man’s left arm. Just above the wrist, on the inside, a brand. 

The brand was thick and heavy in white scar tissue; barely even there anymore savor the puckered flesh. Circular with the unsavory design of twisted lines and interlaced circles. It looked like a tattoo, designed in some Celtic tradition, but the meaning was far more sinister. 

Gritting her teeth, she could feel her jaw lock under the pressure as she dropped to her knees and raised her knife. Without much thought, she tore into the brand with quick, sharp, accurate movements, shredding the flesh in seconds. Her blood boiled with hatred that quickly faded into a deep sense of despair. Tears gathered in her eye as she shifted to sit back on the cold unforgiving Earth. Staring at the corpse before her as she unconsciously rubbed at the back of her neck, behind her left ear.

The snapping of a twig from somewhere behind her caused her to twist sharply, her single eye scanning the forest with the determination and alertness of a startled animal. The flicker of a flashlight made her heart stop in her chest as she scrambled to her feet, the soft mew of a kitten echoing from the hood of her sweater as she ran deeper into the woods.

Vara jerked awake with such force her body was thrown to the floor in a panic of tangled limbs and fabric. A sharp yowl signaled how the action affected Harriet as the kitten scrambled to the safety of a high-perched shelf and out of the way of Vara’s body, now sprawled across the floor. Blinking, Vara huffed as she glanced about the room instead of the dark forest from her sleep-ridden mind. The wood was cold against her cheek as she laid there for a moment, gathering her thoughts and attempting to hide the embarrassment that was beginning to flood her system. A bellowing laugh, deep bellied, and amused echoed off to her left. 

A glance to the side, confirmed Merle’s presence on an old worn out armchair. Mirth was gathered in the man’s eye as he held his stomach over the sight he deemed extremely funny. Rolling her eye, Vara sat up and scratched behind her left ear. The blankets pooled around her waist as she stared hard at Merle and without thinking, she began to sign at the burly man in harsh, sharp movements. Warmth was flooding her cheeks over falling off the sofa in her sleep. 

When Merle’s only response was to flip her ‘the bird’, Vara gritted her teeth before grasping the flat pillow she had been sleeping on and hurling it at the man. The   
satisfying puff of the pillow hitting its target and Merle’s sudden lack of noise was enough to get Vara’s shoulders shaking in silent laughter. 

“Eh, ya think that’s damn funny don’t ya?” He questioned her as he threw the pillow off to the side. 

“Looked like you deserved it, Mer.” Daryl’s voice echoed from behind her, causing Vara to twist slightly to look at the man in the doorway. There was a gentle flood of morning light creeping in from some window in the hall. Its glow illuminating the younger Dixon’s sharp, yet relaxed features. The sight was breathtaking as stormy blues locked with her single eyed gaze, a quirk in the corner of his mouth the only sign of his own amusement.   
Warmth flooded her face as a strange pattering of her heart flickered away in her chest. The feeling was strange, new even as she continued to watch the younger   
Dixon for a moment more before turning her gaze to the floor. She didn’t much understand these things, these emotions that were never there before. There was no darkness, no emptiness, no apathy, anger, or even sadness. For once, there was a small glimmer of hope, a seed she thought had long since died in this unforgiving world. 

Shifting, Vara rose to her feet and deposited the old blanket back onto the aged sofa. Running a hand through her slightly tangled locks, she sighed as her fingers brushed the raised edges of a scar behind her left ear. Quickly, she dropped her hand and turned her attention to the sounds of Merle and Daryl speaking to one another.

They had been on the road for the last week or so, eight days or so since Daryl came to her with the book and a curious mind. Vara had honestly been surprised that first night, but even more so when Daryl returned the next night and the night after that. Every night, whether on watch or before bed, he would seek her out and they would go through a few pages. He was a fast learner, so far picking up the basics and opening up a world that Vara thought had long been forgotten. 

Trust had been placed in her, another piece of a forgotten world she now possessed. Rick had given it to her a day after the farmhouse. Said she was an adult, wasn’t much point in a babysitter anymore. She had even begun to help with the chores and other tasks within the group. Even with this newfound freedom, Vara found herself staying mostly around Michonne or the Dixon brothers. She found responsibilities in skinning and butchering the brothers’ catches, hauling water, or helping with the cooking or laundry.

There were few people in this group she felt comfortable enough around to actually communicate with, and though they didn’t speak her language they were beginning to understand her. Carol said her face gave away much of her emotions and from that the older woman had learned what topics of conversation were good and bad, even if she did most of the talking. Vara found herself growing rather attached to Michonne, whom she could have extensive conversations with, even if most of them had no more meaning than asking the weather. She found herself enjoying the stories Beth would tell to Judith or the excitement Carl showed over some comic he had found. Sure, she was never a part of their conversations but she liked to listen and they weren’t bad people. She avoided many of the others as much as possible. Shane made her unease and since their exchange, she had been wary and cautious. His eyes were too dark, storming with thoughts and emotions that reminded her too much of ….them. Lori was overly suspicious of her and was as cynical as a sharp-tongued snake. It didn’t much matter what Vara did, Lori always seemed to have some comment to make. Andrea always gave her those pity eyes, which made her sick to her stomach and Tyresse was always asking if she was alright. It was tiring, but she supposed she could be in worse situations. So far, her favorite person to talk to was….well….

“Vara…” Daryl’s voice cut through her form, tearing her from her thoughts of the last week.

Her single green eye quickly caught the man’s gaze as her head tilted, signaling her silent question. There was a moment where Daryl looked a bit unsure before he raised his hands before her. She couldn’t help the small smile that formed as she gazed over his hands, watching them move before glancing at his moving lips. His words and hands nearly matched, making something inside of Vara warm.

“Breakfast. Hungry?” The words were broken and would sound childish to anyone outside of the situation; but it was effort, it was something.

(Starving.) 

Nodding, Daryl seemed to understand as he gestured towards the door allowing her out first. They had stopped at an abandoned house on the outskirts of a small town the night before. There had been talk of scouting the area out in hopes of supplies. Everyone was in rather high spirits as the promise of possible supplies gave people hope. Vara couldn’t help but harbor that same hope as she entered the small living space where Maggie was handing out bowls of what appeared to be left over squirrel stew. 

As she was handed a bowl, Vara nodded in thanks to the older Greene girl. She had come to like the Greene family, even though she was cautious of Hershel after the thing with the medicine, she liked them. They were honest, hard working people that didn’t seem to judge a soul. Hershel was wise and kind hearted, a stone in the water, a foundation for his daughters and most of the group. 

Food in hand, Vara found herself a place on the floor beside Michonne and her mismatched little family. Being in the group for a week had been all the time she needed to piece together the puzzle that was the tension in the room. Rick and Lori must have at one time been a thing, Carl being their only known offspring. However, Lori eventually settled on Rick’s once best friend, Shane. Poor Judith was a child being raised by a village without the confirmation of a father. Vara thought she looked much more like Rick than Shane, but it was not her place to voice an opinion. Rick and Shane had some sort of falling out, once friends, yet rivals in this world. She wondered if it was over Lori or the fact Rick was the leader, maybe both. Either way, Rick found new love in Michonne and was kind enough to keep Lori and Shane around, if not just for the children. 

Such a strange group, but Vara couldn’t argue that her old place was better. She was pulled once more from her thoughts as Daryl took a seat next to her, Merle joining them shortly after. A soft cough caught her attention and Vara found herself staring into deep brown eyes as Michonne began to sign to her.

“Morning, sleep well?”

(Got a few hours, yeah.) 

The concerned gaze Michonne answered with caused Vara to frown. Few hours was a blessing, but it seemed unusual in this group to sleep as little as she did. Not that anyone got more than a handful of hours here and there. Vara was use to barely an hour of sleep here or there. It’s how it was when she was....there….in that place. Sleep was a blessing that didn’t exist then and she was trying to figure out once more how much sleep her body actually needed. It was the reason she could fall asleep or wake at the drop of a pin. She had always been on her toes, cautious, on edge before, but she didn’t need to be so much anymore. Sure, the walkers were one thing to be wary of and fear, but not the people. No, the people here were not a danger….at least to her. 

(I’m sleeping better every night.) 

Vara signed, a response that seemed to please Michonne for the moment. It was true, every night she seemed to gain more rest, sleep a little longer, and a little better. It was a luxury she was fearful of losing, but one she was thankful to have for the first time in a long time. 

A hint of movement from Rick seemed to startle a wave of silence throughout the group. His presences more than enough to denote that he was the true and sole leader of this group, it was honestly inspiring. 

“Alright, there’s a town not too far from here….bout a mile or two down the road. Now, hopefully we can gather supplies and regroup a little. Rest here a few more days, recover. I think we should send out two groups….small…but enough people to scout the town. Once we know the situation we can send more people over the next day or so.”

“Glenn and I can go.” Maggie volunteered.

“Mer’ and I’ll go.” Daryl spoke up causing Vara to look at the archer curiously for a moment. Cocking her head to the side, she caught the man’s eyes.

She watched as Daryl’s brow rose in question before an expression of understanding bloomed in place. His gaze flickered to Merle. It seemed their bond as siblings was all that was needed to convey the message before Merle spoke up, 

“Vara’ll come with us.”

“What!” Lori’s shrill voice cut through the room like a knife as tension settled thickly on the air. 

Locking gazes with the brunette, Vara couldn’t exactly understand the problem that caused the woman’s outburst. 

“Rick, man….ya really gonna send a mute out to scout. It’s not like she can call out if something happens.” Shane replied in place of Lori. 

Vara couldn’t help the frown that marred her face as her single green eye narrowed on the man. How dare he! It was no different from saying she was useless. She wanted to be useful, she had been trying so hard to be useful to this group. This was something she could do. It wouldn’t be the first town she had to hunt supplies in, wouldn’t even be the first time she had to go with people….at least these people wouldn’t use her as bait against the walkers…..well she hoped not.

“So what if she’s fucking mute, girl’s got more brains than yer empty skull. Ain’t nothin’ gonna happen, even if it does she’ll be fine.” Merle snapped back.

“She knows how to find shit.” Daryl commented. “Knows hiding spots we ain’t think about.” 

“She’s resourceful; she’ll figure something out if she gets stuck.” Michonne commented.

“She’ll be with us, ain’t nothing gonna happen.” Merle commented.

Vara was a bit surprised; warmth flooded her cheeks at the number of people that would speak upon her usefulness. She was still so new to the group and yet here she was entrusted with other people’s faith and trust. It was new and while strangely sweet, it was terrifying. 

“Vara?” Rick’s voice was the first to catch her true attention and her single eye searched the man out quickly. 

“Ya good?” 

“You can’t be serious Rick!” Lori snapped. “She’ll be a liability out there! She could get someone hurt or bite or dead!” 

The outburst seemed to go unheard, Rick’s deep blue eyes never wavering from Vara’s soft green one. She wasn’t sure if the man was merely ignoring the woman, if he didn’t care what she said, or if he seriously didn’t hear her. Vara doubted the last one, Lori’s voice was high pitched and sharp like nails on chalk. Bowing her head in a small nod was all the answer Rick seemed to need as he returned the gesture.

“Alright, be back before sundown; earlier if things get bad.” 

With that and a few more complaints, the two groups set out just before noon. It was agreed that once the town was reached, the two parties would split up. Maggie had claimed it would help them cover more ground and get a better visual of the town. Glenn had commented that it would also reduce their numbers and make them appear smaller, making it easier to escape or run if need be. 

The air was warm and almost electric considering the time of year. The scent of rain hung heavy on the air, but the skies were clear for miles. If a storm was coming, Vara figured it was still a few dozen miles off or so and would be upon them later in the day. A storm would be worrisome considering the time of year. It would make the air colder and give the Earth a dampness that could inspire illness.

Vara’s mind was fluttering with thoughts of items they could possible find. Sure, Hershel and Rick had come up with a list of essentials, but one never knew what they could actually find. Useful things were not always apparent or seen in a moment’s notice. A small mewl broke Vara from her train of thought and allowed her to resettle on her surroundings.

Harriet trotted but a step or so behind her, half hidden in the lengthening grass. No one had been particularly on board with bringing a cat into town, but it had been quickly established that Harriet never left Vara’s side. The cat had put up such a fuss when Vara tried to leave him with Michonne that the blonde had merely given up.   
It wasn’t like she was happy with the thought of leaving him behind, but it was the safer option. 

Up ahead, Glenn and Maggie led their little band across the cooling asphalt of an old road. The grass was unkept and wild, tickling their ankles and legs with every movement. They didn’t want to be on the road for too long encase someone came down the road. Vara hadn’t heard much from this group, but it seems they had had their fair share of stranger encounters. People were terrifying in this new world, driven by desire, fear, and survival. It was no longer a world where demons hid in the shadows and horrifying encounters were only something you heard about on late night television. No, now in this new world you walked with the demons, fought off the shadows, survived, or drowned in darkness.

Shifting, Vara glanced behind her to spot the two Dixon brothers. They walked along side one another, heads bowed slightly as if deep in conversation, but their eyes flickered with awareness. They knew the world like Vara did. They learned to know one’s surroundings, to be cautious, to keep your head low, and your weapons raised. Vara often wondered what their story was, but didn’t wish to pry. 

Sharing such a small space, she had witnessed the scars that lingered beneath their shirts. She heard Merle’s sleep talk and seen Daryl’s rejection of untrusted touch. They were all signs of a story laced in pain and mistrust. A story Vara was almost too familiar with, not that she felt like comparing war stories. After all, Hell had opened upon the world, why compete for worst past? 

A small rush of shock raced down Vara’s spine as her single green eye locked with deep stormy blues as Daryl looked up. He seemed to pause, uncertainty painting his features as the slightest flush of color came to the heights of his cheekbones. The color snaked towards his ears, discolored by the layers of dust and dirt that they all had come to assume as a second skin. His hand rose, drawing Vara’s attention quickly. 

“Okay?” His lips moved with his hand, a motion that caused the smallest of smiles to bloom upon Vara’s lips.

Nodding, she turned her attention forward, the lingering snicker from Merle an indication that she had interrupted something between the brothers. 

They pressed on for close to two hours before the raise of concrete buildings and wooden roofing caught their gaze. It was a small town, nestled in the cradle of a   
small valley. It was exactly where Rick’s map had pointed them and from their position, they had a vantage point. The road was hilly, built up a hill to lead into or out of town. Vara’s gaze lingered over the nearly empty streets as her senses took in the stretching silence. It was still strange to see towns like this, hell she could remember her own hometown. It was some little backwater place, but it was still noisy and filled with chatter. Now, she was lucky if she could catch the glimpse of a roaming corpse let alone another human. 

“Reminds me of the town near my house.” Maggie commented off handedly. 

“Man, I couldn’t live in such a small place.” Glenn chuckled as he rubbed at his left shoulder.

“That’s because you grew up in Atlanta…anyplace is gonna look small to you.” Maggie teased with a fitting smile and a small shove to Glenn’s opposite shoulder. 

“So, what do you guys think?” Glenn questioned, his dark eyes turning towards Vara and the Dixon brothers. 

Absently, Vara signed with her hands low as her green eye flickered over the town. Silence seemed to stretch for an awfully long time before Vara realized what she did. Blinking in confusion, she found her gaze locking with Glenn. The man looked painfully awkward and confused, his dark eyes flickering from her to Daryl. 

“She said it’s bigger?” Daryl questioned; his rough voice conflicted. His brows were drawn close together in a mixture of frustration and confusion. There were still   
things he didn’t know, his sign language still a small book of vocabulary. 

“For goodness sake…” Merle grumbled before reaching for something in his back pocket. “How many God damn times do I gotta tell ya….” At the sight of the little notebook and pen, Vara perked before quickly patting down her pockets. Heat flooded her features as she quickly snatched the items from Merle’s hands, not really wishing to be on the receiving end of another one of his lectures.

Chewing her bottom lip, Vara quickly scribbled down something before holding it out to Glenn.

“The town is bigger than my hometown.” Glenn read out-loud. 

“Really? Where’s your hometown Vara?” Maggie questioned as Vara’s lips tightened into a firm line. 

This was not what she wanted to talk about, not that she particularly wanted to talk about anything. This was simply not the topic she wanted to get on, but she couldn’t deny the stares of curiosity especially when they came from a pair of stormy blue eyes. Sighing, Vara continued writing before handing her paper back to Glenn.

The man’s eyes widened, shock etching itself into his features as he looked between her and the paper. Vara was beginning to feel a bubble of irritation in her stomach. This was not something she was comfortable with.

“Washington! You’re from Washington?!”

“How the hell did you end up this far south?” Maggie questioned quickly in surprise. 

Huffing, Vara scribbled in her notebook. Her movements were harsh and quick, a reflection of her frustration and irritation. Without another word, she shoved the notebook into Glenn’s hands and proceeded to walk away from the group. Her feet led her down the road a bit more in hopes of reaching the town. She couldn’t think, her heart hammering in her chest as she walked. The idea of her hometown and how she ended up here a memory she didn’t wish to conjure up. The past was in the past, it was suppose to stay there. She had escaped those people, gotten away, she lost them hopefully a state away or so. 

Behind her, she could hear movement as quick footfalls closed in and a hand grasped her shoulder. Gritting her teeth, Vara found herself stopping even as her body trembled at the heavy and solid touch. She didn’t want to think about what she wrote on that note, she didn’t want to even consider it. The past was in the past. All she had to do was remember the good times in her hometown, her family and her friends, before that time occurred….before them. 

Her single green eye flickered to the deep blue of one Daryl Dixon. He stared at her, long and hard, his brows drawn in some thought she couldn’t pinpoint. Without another word, she felt a harsh tug on her shoulder as her body was brought close, enveloped in a warmth that felt both unfamiliar and comforting. She felt frozen and numb, cheek pressed against Daryl’s chest, the thumping of the hunter’s strong heart the only sound she could focus on. 

“They brought me south 10 years ago.” 

Maggie’s voice was soft in the distance, reading the notebook allowed with a voice that sounded deeply depressed with an unspoken understanding of the words. 

“They?”Glenn questioned, their voice hushed but not unheard. 

Silence stretched for several long moments before the sounds of heavy boots caught Vara’s attention. Merle came closer, a look in his eyes that spoke of hidden meaning and understanding. He clasped Vara on the back once before clearing his throat. 

“What the fuck are we all standing round for? Got a fuckin’ job ta do.” He growled out as he began to head towards town. Daryl pulled back from the embrace, the   
warmth leaving gave Vara a shiver. 

“We’ll take the east half….meet ya back here in two hours.” Daryl commented, nodding towards the couple. 

Glenn seemed confused, but Maggie was quick to grasp the man’s arm and pull him away. Glancing up at the taller man, Vara felt herself frowning before she turned to follow Merle. She could hear Daryl bringing up the rear, his footfalls quiet, but when Vara glanced back his eyes were full of emotion. 

Vara scratched behind her left ear.


	6. Pretty Little Psycho

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yippie! 
> 
> New chapter! Ah~ With work finally slowing down and the lack of overtime becoming enjoyable, I am hoping to get more and more chapters knocked out. 
> 
> Hope you all enjoy! <3
> 
> As always, comments and questions as welcome <3

Quiet streets, long abandoned stretched before them reminding Vara of an old western movie. It was the moment before the standoff, when the camera would pan across a sleepy town erupted in a panic so deep it was silent. If the area were drier, maybe tumbleweeds would race across the hot pavement. The soft click of boots and claws the only noise against the eerie background. Honestly, it was too quiet, Vara noticed. There didn’t even seem to be the calls of birds, the scattered scratches of mice, or other small creatures. 

There was the thick, permiating scent of the dead that dripped from every surface like molasses baking in the summer heat. She wondered what it meant, the scent was aged and heavy with copper. It was the only sign that this area wasn’t crawling with corpses, well the moving kind anyway. As they rounded the first street corner, they were meet with an gastly sight. Rows upon rows of bodies, laid out in the afternoon sun like drying fruit. Their bodies twisted and crumbled from age, decay, and time. Vara wondered if this happened as the world turned to Hell. During the time of mass panic and attempted clean up, could have come from a hospital or medical center. 

“Well, ain’t this a sight.” Merle mused aloud, his voice catching Vara’s attention from the piles. 

“Looks like they been dead a’ while.” Daryl continued his brother’s train of thought with practiced ease. 

“Might mean there ain’t many walkers ‘round here.”

“Or means there’s a lot of ‘em.” Daryl countered.

Vara doubted there were walkers around, she would have heard something by now or felt it on the air. There was something about walkers that played with her sense. The air was always heavy when they were around, thick with the scent of blood and decay, a horrible combination of rotten meat and iron. She could hear them well too, shuffling along with the gracefulness of a drunk horse. They were not hard to spot, so long as you were paying attention. 

Glazing over the two brothers, Vara watched as they picked a direction based off a map Rick had given them. She wasn’t familiar with this area either and gave in easily enough to following the two men around. They wandered in the opposite direction of the piles of bodies, up the street to a little general store with an obnoxiously bright banner in the window exclaiming ‘Harvest Fest’. 

Vara’s hand batted lightly against Daryl’s arm, her eye locked on the building as she slowly signed a signal word. 

“Farms?” Daryl questioned as his gaze was drawn to the same sign.

“Huh? Blondie’s right, could be farms nearby.” Merle commented as he moved to the shop door, Daryl flanking him quickly as coverage.

How these two were able to make out what she was saying without much was still a wonder. However, it was a wonder she would have to save to ponder on later.   
Scooping Harriet up, she slipped the cat into the hood of her sweater before joining the men. Merle knocked heavily on the door, all listening closely for the tell tale signs of the dead. When no movement or noise occurred, Merle attempted the same technique again and again. After the third round, Vara figured it had to be safe enough to enter and was quick to follow as the door was forced open with a the weight of Merle’s body. 

Daryl and Merle were the first two in and as Vara made to follow, she paused at the sharp hiss that echoed behind her ear. Glancing back at the bundle of black fur, Vara’s brows knitted in confusion as her single eye shifted to take in the surrounding area. Harriet was upset by something, but Vara wasn’t sure what it was. She couldn’t see anything nearby, nothing out of the ordinary…well ordinary was a strong word. Either way, nothing seemed anymore off than this place already was. Patting the creature’s head softly, Vara moved into the store, figuring whatever had upset Harriet was either too far off for her to tell or wasn’t anything at all. Harriet   
didn’t like a lot of things, from humans to walkers to bunnies. 

Raiding the shop wasn’t difficult, though there wasn’t much in the ways of supplies. They managed to find a few cans, couple of water bottles, a bottle of pain medicine, some first aid supplies, batteries, and a bag of slightly stale dried cat food. Daryl had found it behind the store counter, next to a small plastic bowl set. Clearly, the owners had some sort of shop pet that was no longer using the nearly full bag. It wasn’t a large bag, so it made traveling easy and would give Harriet something different to eat. Harriet pretty much ate what Vara ate, he was too young to know how to fully hunt yet, though he would catch the occasional field mouse for himself. 

The next shop they hit went along the same route, this one a small liquor store. There they encountered a walker that was easily dispatched by a knife from Merle. There they found a few boxes of ammo, an old handgun, some various snacks like peanuts and jerky, a few more cans, and a few more bottles of water. This pattern continued for most of the two hours that spanned between their start and end time.

After two hours, each carrying at least one bag full of supplies, they began the trek back towards their meeting point. As they came to the street lined with bodies, Vara found herself stopping to take in the strange view once more. Not that she particularly wanted this sort of memory in her mind, she couldn’t help but wonder about the events that lead up to such a thing. Her single eyed gaze flickered to Merle and Daryl, only a few steps ahead but still going while she stood stock-still.   
Vara made to catch up when something caught her eye. Harriet hissed deeply in her ear, as Vara remained rooted to her spot. Her single green eye narrowed upon the shape moving in the distance. Something moved with precise movements in the distance, the actions and mobility disconcerning as it didn’t point to a walker. The figure was knelt upon the ground, hands moving amongst the bodies, searching maybe. Maybe it was another survivor? Someone searching amongst the bodies for supplies, not that it was such a bad idea. 

Somehow, Vara couldn’t tear her gaze away as an unsightly feeling of paranoia crept up her spine and into her nerves. Questions of, what ifs, flooded her brain as she continued to stare. She needed to move, needed to catch up with the Dixons and let them know about what she saw. It could be important, could be vital to their safety and that of the group but a few miles away from town.

The figure moved, Vara’s pulse increased as her single eye widened. Harriet’s hissing seemed to be growing louder as all other sounds began to die. Somewhere, she could swear she heard someone calling her name. The figure turned towards her and even from this distance, Vara could tell who it was. Her heart dropped low in her stomach as muffled noises grew louder and louder, closer and closer. The figure stared, unmoving and unchanging for the longest time. She could see the figure’s shoulders drop, a sad shake of the head as it began to rise to its full height. 

Suddenly, the figure was getting closer….or was she getting closer to it? Her feet carried her unconsciously forward, ignoring the sound of voices behind her. Harriet’s hiss got loud, static filled her ears, white noise brushing out the surrounding as the figure became more and more visibly clear. There was the gleam of metal, sharp, and cold as heat and anger bubbled deep in Vara’s core. The motion was clear and precise, the sound of metal slicking into skin, and cracking bone. Black blood oozed from the wound, spattering Vara’s face and clothes as she pressed ever harder into the blade of the knife that stuck thru the figure’s skull, from the jaw upwards. 

Breathing heavily, Vara took in the familiar features of the man. Sad green eyes, short, shaggy blonde locks, a crooked smile, and body encased in an old black trench coat. Tears stung at Vara’s eye as she stared the figure head on, watched his sad smile twitch, words bouncing off the air. 

~Pretty little psycho……  
So…pretty…pretty…let me make you prettier.....  
How about I take the other eye?~

Rage burned in Vara’s very bones as she harshly pulled the knife from the figure’s jaw before swinging it up into the side of the figure’s head. They fell in a tumble of limbs as blood splattered the ground, the glimpse of metal appeared and disappeared as each swing met its mark with the figure’s face and chest. Harriet yowled, having jumped from her hoodie upon tumbling to the ground. Voices echoed loudly in her ears as the rage burned through her like a quick high. Soon, a voice was penetrating her thoughts and mind, pulling her from whatever mindset she had slipped into. 

“Vara!”The voice hollered as strong arms locked her from behind, pinning her arms from doing anymore damage to the corpse beneath her lithe body. 

“Vara,” The voice spoke. “Come on, calm down.” 

Breathing heavily, Vara found herself suddenly boneless as she leaned back against the broad chest of the man who held her. Firm hands slid down her arms, grasping the handle of the knife, and pulling it from her hands. 

“Rotter’s dead, kid.” Merle’s voice echoed from her left, causing her to blink in confusion. Rotter? Blinking, Vara’s green eye locked on the distorted face of a decayed walker. The image of the figure, the man, was replaced with the reality of the situation. Vara had attacked a walker, while not much of a crime, her mind had replaced it with the image of someone she’d rather forget. 

Daryl pulled her up and turned her away from the walker upon the ground. 

“Ya okay?” He questioned.

Vara locked eyes with the man and frowned deeply. Raising her hands, she quietly signed as she turned her face away. Suddenly, she felt extremely shy and nervous, worried over their reaction to her outburst. She couldn’t help it, the black trench coat and blonde hair had thrown her. They had been traits that anyone could have been carrying before the end, but her mind jumped to the person responsible. 

“Familiar?” Daryl questioned, his voice thick with an undertone of frustration. A warm hand on her face, forced her to turn her gaze back to stormy blue eyes. 

“That walker was familiar……” Daryl muttered as he pulled away, his hand leaving her face now that he had her gaze. “Okay, feel better?” 

Blinking in confusion, Vara tilted her head in questioning, but Daryl seemed to understand something she didn’t. Merle huffed a laugh behind her, causing her to look at the older Dixon.

“Damn kid, did a number on ‘em. Told Rick ya could handle yerself.” The tension seemed to break instantly and Vara found her lips twitching in a smile as Daryl huffed in amusement. Maybe they understood something she didn’t. Saw the frustration, the anger, maybe they had killed walkers that reminded them of their past to help ease the inner turmoil that tended to show from time to time.

Either way, Vara was grateful to the Dixons for not judging her. Hell, if there had been someone else from the group here….well….she might have been on her own again. Merle was still going on about her ‘attack’ on the walker, boasting excitedly at her survival abilities the whole way back to the meeting point. 

They met up with Glenn and Maggie who seemed to have far better luck than they did. Each had three bags full, which they split amongst the five of them to help share the burden. 

“Run into any trouble?” Maggie questioned, once the splitting was done and they began to head back in the direction of their group. 

“Na, a walker or two. Nothin’ difficult.” Daryl commented and Vara noted the look the man gave her, he would keep her rage filled kill a secret and for that Vara found herself relaxing. She could trust Daryl…well at least she hoped she could trust Daryl. The man hadn’t exactly stabbed her in the back yet and that was something.  
“We saw something odd.” Glenn commented, catching Vara’s attention. Her hand rose, scratching the furry body that nuzzled close to the junction between her shoulder and chin. Harriet was quick to return to her side the farther they got from those bodies.

“Some big van on the other side of town; looks old, like it’s been here since the beginning or something.”

“We thought it’d be a good source of gas or something, but…” Maggie trailed off, her face slightly pale.

“What?” Merle questioned, wondering over the couple’s quietness. 

“There was this walker in it. Things’ beyond decay so whatever happened, happened a long time ago.” Maggie continued. 

“The thing was chained up and had this weird brand on its’ forehead. Looked like some tribal or like Celtic symbol.” Glenn finished.

“Huh?” Merle muttered with a shake of his head. “Some people ain’t right China-man.” 

Glenn huffed as the tension seemed to be snapped once more. “Korean.” 

“Don’t care.”

“Either way, I guess we can’t worry about it since it looked so old. It was just really creepy.” Maggie spoke up.

Vara couldn’t help but frown deeply at what the couple had found. Part of her wondered, worried even, maybe that walker was more familiar than it should have? Then again, maybe not. Shaking her head, Vara choose to put those thoughts from her mind as they trekked back towards the old house the rest of the group was holed up in. 

Coming upon the house, Vara frowned deeply at the sounds of conflict that seemed to seep from the thick wooden walls of the old structure. The blonde couldn’t help but fall behind slightly, her footfalls falling in line with Daryl’s as the hunter slowed to a stop. 

“Ah man, can’t they go one day without arguing.” Glenn whined as the front door to the house slammed open with a deep bang, door bouncing against the front porch wall. Lori’s form appeared in the doorway, the woman stomping angrily down the front steps. She paused at the sight of the small group of supply runners, her eyes widening as a blush painted her thin face.

“Lori.” Rick’s voice called from the doorway, the leader pausing just inside of the doorway. Sighing heavily, he forced a smile as he looked over them all. “Good, yer all back alright.” An uneasy tension seemed to fill the air before Merle huffed in mock amusement. 

“If yer all done pussy-footing around, why don’t ya get yer lazy ass on sortin’ some supplies.” The burly man grumbled as his heavy footsteps thudded up the steps, dropping one of the large bags he carried into Rick’s arms. 

Glenn shook his head as he gestured for Maggie, the couple retreating into the house quickly. Vara couldn’t help but look between Rick and Lori, curious as to what to make of the situation. Rick seemed tired and a bit stressed, while Lori looked absolutely enraged. Her brown eyes narrowed sharply at her, causing Vara to frown and turn away. Part of her wanted to duck her head, but she didn’t like the idea of giving the woman that sort of satisfaction. She still wasn’t sure why Lori didn’t like her.

Bumping Daryl’s arm lightly, Vara began to head into the house, sensing Daryl was but a step behind her the whole way. Glancing at the man behind her, Vara couldn’t help but raise a brow as she set her bags down in the living area. Daryl shook his head and the blonde could tell she wasn’t going to get much in terms of answers. Oh well, she had more important things to consider like that walker and the van Glenn and Maggie had commented on. 

She couldn’t be sure, but she felt like she was far enough away from those people. They wouldn’t…no they couldn’t find her. They couldn’t find this group, they just couldn’t. Vara refused to even think it could possible happen, she wouldn’t allow it. Sighing softly, Vara settled on the floor next to Michonne to give a hand in the sorting. 

She was growing attached….how troublesome.

**Author's Note:**

> Guess who's on tumblr? XD
> 
> http://lovesickemerald.tumblr.com/


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